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“If you gotta question it then don’t even worry about it.”

“You sound childish as fuck. I’m questioning it because your actions left room for some doubt. But deep down I know what it was because I was nutting in you 24/7. I can believe you when you say you wasn’t fucking that nigga, but you still lied about living with him so I’d be a fool to just take your word without getting shit in black and white. Take your feelings out of it for a second and see the shit from my point of view, bruh.”

“Whatever,” I muttered because he was right. Before I even called him with the news of my pregnancy I accepted the fact that he might ask for a DNA test or express some doubts. I was only in my feelings now because I learned that he had a girlfriend all along.

“Yea, you know I’m right.”

“But you’re not though. You’re actually the world's biggest hypocrite. You’re mad at me for living with an ex but you had a girlfriend the whole time.”

“What?!”

“Did you forget that I talked to your girlfriend over the phone?”

“That ain’t my girlfriend though. She never was and she’s still not.”

“That’s not what she said.”

“Well she lied. I’ll admit that we have been dating since she got out of jail in July,” he divulged and my heart dropped to the pit of my stomach. “But she’s really just somebody who I dealt with over the years and it’s never been exclusive. Not that I gotta explain that shit to you.”

“But you just did though and I don’t give a fuck. I’ve been at peace for the past month and I intend on keeping it that way. I don’t have time for drama with you and your bitch, so like I said, I’ll hit you up when I have the baby.” I ended the call and I would’ve blocked his number from my mom’s phone, but I was locked out. When I walked back to the kitchen, everybody was looking at me like they were waiting for answers and Nalyssa was gone. That was for the best. If she had stayed around and continued to bump her gums about my life I was going to curse her clean out.

“You need to block him, mama,” I said as I handed my phone over to her.

“I’m not going to do that. It’s fine if you don’t want to communicate with him, but that’s my granddaughter's daddy so I’m going to keep an open line of communication for her sake.”

“You not wrong, baby,” Granny said. “Lo-Lo Pop, you need to just come to an understanding with that boy. Your child deserves to have both of her parents.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed longingly. “That man can go to hell for all I care, Granny. I don’t have to bow down to him just because he finally feels like being bothered.”

“Jesus Christ,” Granny sighed while looking up at the sky.

Chapter 3

Armias

I don’t know who Lourdes thought she was playing with, but she must have had me confused with that bum ass rapping nigga she was with. I had the drop on her location ten minutes after she hung up in my face. All it took was a $500 Cash App to her mama and a promise to come in peace. I hadn’t lost my mind, so I had no intentions to pull up to her Granny’s house and cause confusion. I really just wanted to talk to Lourdes about the baby because that’s what really mattered. I wasn’t interested in arguing over the fucked up shit that she’d done or what she thought I’d done. She’d already proven herself to be a liar, so her word didn’t hold much weight with me anymore. I appreciated all her apologies and I did feel like they were genuine, but the damage was done.

“Got me bent,” I mumbled to myself as I placed a GPS tracker under Lourdes’ car. I’d already attempted to bribe her mom for her new address, but she drew the line there for some reason. “If Lourdes wants you to have her home address she’ll give it to you. But you can come over to her grandma’s house to have a mature conversation with her.” That shit blew me, but I wasn’t tripping because I was prepared for that. I didn’t want to go about it this way, but they were forcing my hand. Lourdes was trying to ice me out of her pregnancy and I thought her mama was on my side, but clearly she’d been allowing her daughter to be on some weird shit.

Lourdes’ grandma lived in a quiet 11th Ward neighborhood where a lot of older black people resided. I was somewhat familiar with the area because it wasn’t too far from some of my old hang out and hustle spots in the 12th Ward. But her Granny was living nice in a moderately large brick house. I recalled her telling me that her Granny was a retired nurse and her home was definitely a reflection of that. As I was jogging up the porch steps I received an incoming text message from Ms. Lucia.

She’s getting ready to leave, so you might have to catch her another day. I’ma keep this money to go towards food for the baby shower.

I chuckled because it didn’t surprise me that she wasn’t trying to come up off that $500. I wasn’t going to ask for that chump change back anyway, but I guess she had to jump in front of it in case I did. The last thing I was ever going to trip about was some money, but it did bother me that a baby shower was being paid for and planned without my input. It just drove home the point that they were icing me out and it was time for me to really put my foot down about it. I was putting my phone back in the pocket of my Amiri jeans when I heard the front door swing open. I quickly looked up and a smile instantly spread across my face.

“What the fuck?!” Lourdes shouted with wide eyes like she was seeing a ghost. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I’m here to talk to you. Come on.”

“Come on?!”

“Yea, let’s go for a ride so we can have a private conversation.”

“Nigga, you then lost your damn mind but I’d be happy to help you find it!”

“How you plan on doing that?” I asked, still smiling. I don’t know how she expected me to take her seriously. She was dressed in her signature color and she had a dash of Hello Kitty in there with her platform crocs. Her natural curly hair was styled in two ponytails with big pink scrunchies and she wore very little makeup. Her stomach had taken shape, but it was very small. If I wasn’t familiar with pregnancies I would think there was no way she was over four months along. But I had vivid memories of Rahesha being pregnant with Aspen and Aneesah. Her stomach didn’t start getting super big until the six month mark. Compared to her later pregnancies, she definitely carried them the best. Everybody would go on and on about how perfect her belly was, how long her hair was growing, and they’d say she was “glowing.” Even as a kid I could see what they meant and Lourdes had that same type of energy about her. She was definitely carrying a baby girl.

“What the fuck is funny?!”