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“I thought he did until I got fucked right by a big ole dick. That’s when I realized that all my past experiences were mid.”

“So when you say you need some dick you really mean that you need Ali’s dick?” Dream asked.

“Pretty much,” I nodded while staring into the distance. “But he’s acting bad, so fuck him. I’ll keep getting myself off for the next few months. But when my six weeks are up in February I’m gon’ be outside like a stray cat!” I declared while sitting my phone back down on the table. They were laughing until I did that. Dream’s mouth dropped into an O while Denim looked mortified, and they were both staring at my phone.

That propelled me to look down, too. I immediately saw what had them gagged and I gasped. My dumb ass didn’t hang the phone up. I’d switched from Facetime to a regular phone call! Instead of saying something to check if he was still on the line and listening, I hurried up and ended the call.

“You don’t think he heard anything, do you?!” I asked in full blown panic.

“I don’t know…but it’s hella embarrassing if he did,” Denim scratched her head. I wanted her to lie to me just this one time, but it was useless. There was a strong chance he’d heard our conversation and there was no way his arrogant ass would let me live it down. I certainly wouldn’t have let him make it if the shoe was on the other foot.

“Then you gotta see him tomorrow…damn, best friend,” Dream tried to be serious, but a giggle slipped out. A few seconds later she and Denim were doubled over in laughter while I sat there wanting to drop into a black hole.

Chapter 8

Lourdes

“Lourdy,” Zee reached his hands out to me while yawning. I was about to begin cleaning the kitchen, but I stopped what I was doing and went over to him. Him being tired was a given because it was getting late and he’d been up all day. He was Facetiming me at 9 am to ask if I was still doing his hair today. He alternated between calling and texting me all day up until his brother dropped him off at 4 pm. Armias handed him off at the door before leaving in a hurry. He claimed he had an emergency at one of his barbershops that he needed to tend to. For obvious reasons I was happy he didn’t stick around. Rahesha had done me a huge favor by taking down and washing Zee’s hair, so all I had to do was braid it and that didn’t take long. Lately he’d been requesting styles for himself and today it was Pop Smoke braids. He had a reference photo on his Ipad and all. He was growing into his own little person and I loved every minute of it.

“You tired, man?” I sat down on the sofa and scooped him up. He wasn’t super heavy, but he was too big for me to be holding while I was nearing seven months pregnant.

“No,” he lied while yawning and getting comfortable in my lap. I’d finished his hair a few hours ago and since then he played with the toys I had at my house for him, he watched tv, and he had dinner. I whipped up one of his favorite meals; fried chicken tenders and fries. He wasn’t a hard kid to keep at all, so I didn’t mind that his brother was gone for hours. Zee was such a sweetheart that I loved having him over.

“Okay,” I giggled, while rubbing his back. He yawned again and closed his eyes while resting his head on my bosom. Not even five minutes later he was sleeping soundly. I carefully laid him on the sofa and threw one of my Hello Kitty blankets over him, so I could get back to cleaning my kitchen and living room. Toy Story 2 was playing on Disney Plus but I turned it off and threw on a good ole R&B playlist. I didn’t crank the music all the way up like I normally would have because I didn’t want to wake Zee, but he was a deep sleeper. A hurricane couldn’t wake him up.

Out of nowhere, a loud rumble coming from outside startled me. With that type of thunder it was bound to start raining at any second. I turned away from the sink and looked across the room to check on Zee. Sure enough, he hadn’t moved one bit. My hurricane theory was definitely true. I got back to cleaning as it continued to thunder off and on.

“Ever since you left me I've been tryna hide the pain. Painting on a smile with lipstick. Putting on a big charade. So difficult to keep pretending. It's getting harder everyday. It's plain to see I'm cold and heartsick since you turned and walked away. I just keep going 'round and 'round. And 'round in circles leep on tumbling down…” I sang along with Mariah Carey to Circles like it was my own song. My heart would definitely say it was good theme music for my ongoing feelings. I’d never yearned this much for someone, but I was glad I had enough dignity to keep it to myself. Of course my tea had been compromised due to my sloppy mishap from the night before. But I was beginning to think he hadn’t heard anything. He hadn’t shown any signs or given any hints that he had. He wasn’t the type to bite his tongue or hold shit in, so I was most likely in the clear.

“Everything is you. How can I pull through?. My heart is consumed, I'm so confused. Still caught up in you, love can be so cruel. Baby, don't know how to turn you loose…” I was putting dishes away and singing from the gut. I must have summoned the nigga who had me in my feels because my phone vibrated across the counter. I changed his contact name days ago because having him saved under “baby daddy” was so gutter-butt.

Alouri’s Dad: Hey, I know I been gone for a minute. Shit got crazy at the shop. I’ll be there to get Zee in about an hour. Y’all ate?

His Westbank location was only about fifteen minutes away from my house and he’d texted me instead of calling, so I had a feeling that shit was still crazy.

Me: Yea. I cooked and Zee is knocked out, so you don’t have to rush here to pick him up. Handle your business.

Alouri’s Dad: Appreciate it, Lo. What you cooked?”

Me: Smothered pork chops, corn, rice, and sausage. And yes, you can have a plate.

Alouri’s Dad: I’m glad you knew that was my next question, lol. Zee ate that?

Me: Hell no, lmao. I made him fries and chicken tenders.

Alouri’s Dad: Smh. We really gotta expand that lil nigga pallette.

Me: You’re on your own with that.

Alouri’s Dad: That’s messed up, lol. But I’ll be there real soon.

Me: Cool. Lmk when you otw.

Alouri’s Dad: Alright.

I thought that was the end of the conversation but he double texted me a few seconds later. I’d been smiling at my phone like a fool until that second. This man had lost his damn mind.

Alouri’s Dad: When can I post the maternity pictures? I don’t know if that’s a dumb question because it’s my pictures, too, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to wait until the day of the baby shower. I want to respect however you want to do it, so let me know.