Page 77 of Hearts on the Mend

“You made supper for Ruby?”

“Hmm” is all he says. I probably deserve it. “Dad took her sledding. We picked up too. Figured you had a rough day.”

I wipe at my eyes, my throat thick with all the words lodged there I need to say. Instead, “I like coming home to you” falls out of my mouth on a choked whisper.

Nolan hits the faucet off with the back of his fist, then braces his arms wide on the counter. Quiet stretches between us, my focus stuck on the slow rise and fall of his shoulders, the way his head hangs forward, and the utter exhaustion that seems to be pulling at his bones.

He clears his throat. “Why don’t you sit down. I’ll grab you a bowl.”

Ember jumps onto the counter and nudges against him. He gently lifts her and sets her on the floor. She curls up instead in the small basket he bought for her near the woodstove.

When he finally turns, Nolan’s deep-brown eyes sweep over me, and I’m met with another wave of sadness. At the longing in them, the heartbreak that shines back at me.

“The other day, I said some things that felt true, but I’m not sure they are.”

“We don’t have to talk about this now,” he says, reaching into the cupboard for a bowl.

“I think we do. I need to apologize. I hurt you and⁠—”

“Fuck,” he whispers, rubbing his temples. “It’s fine.”

“I’m trying to say sorry, Nolan. You deserve an apology. You’ve been more than patient, and I only keep getting in my own way, but I don’t want my mess to become yours. I never want to take it out on you. I⁠—”

“Like coming home to me?” He removes the lid to the beef stew and circles the pot a few times with the wooden spoon before he ladles two scoops into a bowl.

“Yes.” I wipe at my eyes again, so frustrated at how much I’ve been crying lately. I hate crying. “Matt canceled on me this morning, then I caught him taking a girl out for coffee. I have the whole thing recorded. He told me he won’t try to get custody of Ruby. I told him to stop dragging his feet with the divorce. I’m done being stuck and scared of what’s going to happen. I’ve been so fucking lost, and—” I slide my hand onto his bicep, rubbing up and down. He goes still but doesn’t lean away. My chest aches at how badly I want to kiss him. “But you make it better. I’m sorry I made you believe anything less.”

“I’m heading out now,” Richie says, stepping into the kitchen. “She’s a great kid, Cassie. You should be real proud. You’re doing a good job with her.”

My hand lingers for a moment before I jump back, and Nolan shoves the bowl toward me.

“Thank you again for your help today, Richie. We’re lucky to have you Murphys in our lives.”

“Life has a funny way of working out sometimes. We all found each other when we needed to.”

“Getting a bit philosophical in your retirement, huh, Dad?” Nolan brushes past me. “Go ahead and eat, Cass. I’ll walk him out and get Ruby to brush her teeth.”

I sink down at the empty kitchen table, take in the clean kitchen, the cat sleeping by the woodstove, done with being scared of what I want. I could keep saying sorry, but it feels like he’s decided that isn’t enough.

I’ll just need to show him.

Chapter 25

Nolan

Busting my ass to update this bathroom finally pays off, and for once, I get a warm shower without the danger of mold inhalation. I demoed the shower downstairs today, leaving me with no other option than sneaking upstairs after Ruby’s asleep.

Still, I locked the hallway door to be safe.

It’s been a long fucking day. An early morning ride into Boston to follow up with my pulmonologist team found lingering airway restriction from my smoke inhalation injury. Came home with a respiratory trainer and an order to begin respiratory rehab on top of physical therapy. And the worst of it—my clearance was delayed.

It’ll be another month before I can try again. The end of March is cutting it close. I want to be back in Montana in April.

Water beats down, and I tilt my head into the warm spray, stretching my neck. The heat works the knot out of my shoulder blade. I groan, bracing my arm on the freshly tiled wall.

My mind wanders straight to Cassie. It has the annoying habit of doing that a lot.

I like coming home to you.