Page 63 of Hearts on the Mend

Chapter 20

Cassie

The navy Wharf House awning flutters above me as I step inside the coffee shop, a chill sinking into my bones. It’s brutally cold today, barely reaching zero.

I sputter, trying to pull the hair stuck in my lip gloss away with my gloves that are now also sticky. There’s no being cute in winter. Not sure how everyone else does it.

Sarah pops up from behind the counter, a grin on her face. “Good morning, Cassie,” she says. “You look⁠—”

“Like I need caffeine? Yes.”

She leans forward over the counter, whispering, “How’d dinner go with Blake last night? Looks like you had a good time.”

I raise my eyebrows, not trusting the words that are about to fall out of my mouth. I’m desperate for a friend right now, for someone to talk to, for some direction, because I’m feeling more than a little lost.

Last night with Nolan was—whoa.

Besides the ache between my legs right now, it’s the fact that I woke up with him in my bed that’s really fucking with me. I liked it, sleeping there in his shirt, warm in bed with him there beside me. The man’s a furnace, and for once, I woke up being able to feel my toes.

Sure, the man gives the best mustache rides in town, but it’s the smaller things I’m falling for. Like the wrinkles beside his deep-chocolate eyes, the slight scar across his nose, the way he whimpers under me, almost as if he’s too overwhelmed by the possibility of us like I am. I like the tender side of him. Like more that Ruby and I are really only ever the ones to see it.

It’s like our secret. Our gentle, broody hero giant.

“He was nice enough. Didn’t end up staying long though. Went home early.”

Sarah pauses with the Sharpie in her hand above my cup. “There a reason?”

“Not any I want the rest of Merritt Point to know about.”

While the coffee shop is busy, I’m well aware of the stares. Small towns, man. They’re all the same.

Sarah laughs. “Consider me intrigued. Text me later. What can I get you?”

“The largest coffee you can manage.” I peek at the baked goods, delighted to see an almond croissant and a lobster cake pop for Ruby. I hate missing out on weekends with her, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to it, but this is our life now, and the guilt that comes with that.

“You sure you’re okay? I can take my break.” Sarah slides my coffee toward me over the counter.

“I—” My attention is pulled away when my wallet sheds crappy fake leather all over the counter. I really need a new one. Everything in my life feels frayed around the edges at the moment. “Am picking up Ruby. Matt wanted to talk today. I’m okay, thanks.”

I grab a table overlooking Main Street in Merritt Point. Even in winter, the town is adorable. The old buildings are huddled together with planter boxes overflowing with leftover evergreens from Christmas.

It’s been years, but I’d love to see the summer here again. Even just one more time. I always loved visiting my aunt.

Just then, Matt pushes through the door.

Ruby skirts under his arm, spots me, and rushes forward. Her hair is unbrushed, and I know he hasn’t done it because it’s still in the braid I sent her off with yesterday. I force on a smile and open my arms as she launches herself at me. I wrap my arms tight around her, burying my face into her neck, and I inhale the sweet watermelon scent of her shampoo.

God, I missed her so much.

Matt stands behind her, hand stuffed in his pocket beside the station walkie-talkie clipped to his belt. He’s growing a beard, and it looks just about as good as that receding hairline of his.

But when we met? Man, I fell so fast that I didn’t have a chance to untangle my life from his. I mean, I was just starting my life. He worked at the local fire station while I finished up my nursing degree at Salem State, then we moved west so he could chase wildfires as a hotshot. He was convinced it would make him more of a hero.

Eight years later, it was too much work and not enough recognition. He liked to hide behind the excuse of moving closer to his parents, but he seems happier now that he’s back on the structural side of things. Likely has more stories to share that help prop him up in everyone’s eyes.

Young love might have clouded my brain, but my lack of confidence didn’t help either. I wanted to be loved, wanted to be needed. Instead, I delivered Ruby alone in that hospital room. My brother ended up moving out near us and worked at a local ranch, and in between bronc riding, he helped me with Ruby.

I don’t know where I belong. I don’t think I ever did.