Page 24 of Hearts on the Mend

“It’s not something people often want to hear. But I think you know it already. You’ve been sitting with it since the fire.”

Shannon’s not wrong. There’s always something to carry in life.

For me, it’s this fucking pressure in my chest. This anger that burns like scrub on a hot August day during a drought. It’s heavier than the pack I strap to myself and jump out of a plane with.

Anger of losing what I worked so hard to earn. Anger at a life I was happy with.

Anger at failing my friend and crewmate.

Anger that I’m stuck with the burns on my body for the rest of my life as a reminder of that failure and knowing Jared will never have the opportunity to see the family he loved so much grow.

“I only want to leave,” I say finally. “Working at the house helps with that. By spring, I’ll be on my way back to what’s left of my crew.”

“You’re still under medical care here in Boston.”

“Then I’ll fucking finish with all the shit I need to do so I’m medically cleared.”

“You can’t will your body to magically heal faster. These things take time. You suffered significant burns on the left side of your body, your lungs were damaged from smoke inhalation, and you lost someone close to you.”

My ears ring, and my fingers tingle. I don’t need to be a list of problems for others. I won’t stay stuck, even if it means pushing past the pain and hungry hollowness that gnaws at me.

“Watch me.”

Shannon raises her brows, then softly sighs. “Time’s almost up, so we’ll end there for this session. I want you to think about what it is you want, and what you want to get out of helping out your friend.”

“She’s not a friend.”

“No?”

“She’s my employer.”

“So, she’s paying you?”

“Not exactly.”

I needed to get out of my parents’ house, and she had a spare room. Ruth agreed to pay for all the materials needed for repairs.

“I suggest you figure that out too. Everything might fall to pieces before it comes together again, but you need to be careful not to break just because you’re hurting, Nolan.”

I clear my throat, pulling my gaze from the slowest clock in history to the bare trees outside. To the snow whipping around the brick building, the gray day seeping into the dark office.

“Fine, I’ll be careful.”

Chapter 8

Cassie

I’ve spent five hours dodging projectile vomit and hunting for veins on dehydrated toddlers. Welcome to flu season.

The hallway is crowded with patients in beds, waiting for something to open up for them upstairs.

“Doing great, Cassie,” Tracy, the charge nurse, calls out as I stretch my neck from side to side. Funny how wearing a stethoscope around my neck feels like dragging around a dead log after a few hours.

“It’s not over yet.” I force a smile, even as another bed alarm sounds.

Shit.

“You’ll get the hang of it. Dr. Reed runs a great emergency department. I’ve been doing this since you were in diapers, so I’ve been in quite a few.” She chuckles to herself, about to take a sip of her coffee when she spots the nursing student in triage struggling.