Page 13 of A Courage of the Chosen

The expansive view continues into the bedroom, thanks to another single sheet of glass serving as a window.

Bathed in the barely-there light of the evening sun, the biggest bed I’ve ever seen stands proudly, the wooden frame complementing the beamed ceiling and end tables. The fresh sheets are a pristine white, and the cushions adorning the bed are perfectly plumped, thanks to the staff who were just here.

I immediately head toward one of two other doors in the room, opening it to find a bathroom fit for a royal family.

Marbled tiles line the floor and the walls. The fittings are all a deep brass, and the shower has two heads protruding from the ceiling. Dual sinks sit below a mirror that has a soft light sitting behind it, lending the room a pale-yellow glow that’s immediately relaxing, and the giant white tub sits against a partitioned wall.

I’m absolutely getting into that the first chance I get. I’m strung too tight to properly enjoy a long soak in the bath now, so I strip out of my clothes and throw them into the hamper tucked away behind the door. My hands lock up as they brush over my empty chest and the absent Craobh.

Swinging between fear, anger, and uncertainty, I stomp into the shower, my feet slapping on the cool floor, and scrub myself to remove the layer of blood and dirt. And perhaps the shame of letting him take it.

By the time I’ve rinsed my hair of the conditioner helpfully left for me, my mind and my heart are burdened. My eyes close as the water slips down the drain, and the hours on that battlefield flash before me.

Chasing the Brollachan into the forest after Tavish disappeared into his magic. The sounds of war, flesh meeting sword, and the thud of a lifeless body falling to the ground. The way their eyes stared blankly at the sky. The lingering smell of the funeral pyres as we rode away to Elfayne City, leaving most of our forces behind. And someone I’d desperately wished was able to ride with me as I faced the council for the first time.

That battle was my first preview of what’s to come, and already I feel the stain of it on my soul. What will be left of me when this is over? Twelve months ago, I lived a normal life, and now I’m the queen of a magical realm. I’ve killed corrupted Seelie.

A disbelieving laugh slips from me as I exit the shower and wrap myself in a fluffy towel. I pad over to the large mirror, wipe my hand through the fog, and look at the reflection staring back at me.

A ring of light flashes around my irises. I’d seen the same tiny show of my power when I first arrived in this palace, convincing myself it was a trick of the light and that it meant nothing. Now I know exactly what it means, both the good and the bad.

The most bizarre thing of all is that this doesn’t feel weird to me anymore. This world is where I belong. And, okay, maybe fighting in a war is the last place I want to be, but it feels like I’m fighting for something. For the first time in my life, my direction is clear.

I win or I die.

It’s as simple as that.

My magic hums in my chest, crackling to life along my bones. Something happened in the council room. I followed my power blindly as I showed them who I was, and it wasn’t only light that answered.

I hold a palm out and allow my light’s song to lull me in. It forms a tight ball, and I watch as it pulses in time with my heart.

As I stand at the sink, observing my own power, my wet hair dripping onto the floor with quiet splashes, my mind drifts to the truths I’ve beaten down and not wanted to acknowledge. Tavish took the Craobh, but he left something behind as well.

The new bond in my chest vibrates as the iciness surges forward to meet my light, feeding it. The power grows, the crackles of lightning sparking out from my palm becoming sharper, and more defined. Their lethal edges flicking out in search of their next victim.

Drawing on all my magic lessons, and not thinking too hard about the one who taught me all I know, out of fear that I’ll crumble if I do, I don’t back down from this new thing, knowing that the sooner I understand it, the sooner I can decide how to deal with it.

The pull is just as potent as the one that beckons when I wield light. It sits in the darkened recesses of my soul, ready to encourage the very worst parts of me. The parts that thirst for blood and power and vengeance. My light is all warmth and good. Strong but true.

Whatever this is, it’s the opposite. It’s all the things I don’t want to admit about who I am, and the secrets I hide in an attempt to convince myself that I’m better than those dark, violent impulses.

“Remember who you are.” Granny’s final words pull me back from the trance-like state I’d slipped into, and I shake my head to clear it.

Out of habit, I reach for the Craobh. I’d normally take it off to shower and place it nearby. With a huff, I snatch the hairbrush instead, and drag it through the strands of my hair with more force than I need to. The knots of my battle-ravaged braid take effort to untangle, even after washing my hair.

I’m going to have to tell the council that Tavish has the Craobh Beatha. It will cost too many lives if I don’t share that vital piece of information.

The fact that this bond exists between Tavish and I can be kept secret for now. It doesn’t sit well with me to not share it, especially when I’ve spent the last months being angry at everyone for keeping secrets from me. But somewhere between finishing drying my hair, getting my pajamas on, and returning to the bathroom to clean my teeth, I decide that this isn’t vital information. Not like the stolen Craobh.

We need to be wholly prepared when we face them, and that means sharing the fact it’s gone.

I have to get it back, I just don’t know how.

“Come and get it, my queen.”

The toothbrush clatters against the sink, and dark threads in my chest strum to a silent tune. I whirl around, expecting to find him stood behind me, but there’s only me, and the residual steam from my shower, in the room.

“I’m waiting for you,” Tavish purrs, his voice sounding as though he’s right there. Goosebumps pebble along my flesh.