Page 136 of A Legacy of the Light

“Finneus, I don’t think this is working,” I groan in frustration.

“It takes time, dear. This is only your fourth day attempting to wield. It takes some children months to learn. Let’s stop now and finish until Monday. Between this, and your training with Reyne, you need to rest.”

Reyne has decided we will stop training on Saturdays, worried I’m going to push myself past breaking point. We go hard during the week and now that she and Eòghann are together, she wants to spend as much time with him as possible, since his guard shifts are inconsistent.

They’re both right to slow me down—I can feel exhaustion pulling at me more and more each day—but the need to do something, to be useful, keeps pushing me.

I sigh. “I know. I just feel like I’m not helping anyone.”

“Who says you need to?” Finneus challenges.

“I can’t stand by and let the Dorche invade my world. I might be Seelie by blood but I was born and raised in the human realm. I can’t do nothing knowing that if we don’t find a way to stop the Dorche, they will eventually win.”

I lower my voice in case it carries out into the library. “I can’t stand by and let Granny’s home be destroyed either. I might not have known the truth about where she came from, but I know she loved her heritage.”

Finneus peers at me over the rim of his glasses with softness in his eyes. “Spoken like a true Darrow.”

His remark stops me short and his smile deepens. “I understand, dear. But you should know that it is not your responsibility to save anyone. You need only take care of yourself. I would say that’s more important given who you are.”

I scoff at his words. I am no more important than any other Seelie or human who is threatened by the Dorche.

“But in the weeks I have gotten to know you,” Finneus continues. “I see that you are more like Màiri than I first thought. She would not stand by and do nothing either.”

We stare at each other for a moment, the light from the chandeliers reflecting on the gold frame of Finneus’s glasses as he waits for my reply.

“I’m going to try again,” I say, and once more close my eyes to focus my energy on where I should feel magic.

The creak of the old chair sounds around the chamber as Finneus shifts in his seat. “Very well. Tune everything else out. Focus only on the pull to the well in your chest.”

It feels as if I’m rooting around in my body for something that simply isn’t there. But I try and I try and I try.

“I feel nothing,” I say eventually in defeat.

“Let us leave it there for today then.” Finneus stands from his chair and we exit the chambers.

The mountain face seals itself behind us and Finneus and I are discussing where we should research next in the chambers when the sound of footsteps causes us both to freeze.

“What do we have here?”

Shit.

The voice sends tingles down the back of my neck. Hume steps out from behind the bookshelves and leans against them, crossing his arms across his chest. The dark brown of his leather vest suits him—it reminds me of a snake.

“Hume. Good morning,” Finneus replies curtly.

How much of that did he hear?

Hume’s dark, bottomless eyes rove over me and then peer over my shoulder, where the entrance to the chambers have sealed.

“What are you doing back here?” Hume asks Finneus but his eyes never leave mine.

I scramble to think of a reason we’d be so close to the sealed chambers. Nothing springs to mind and panic blankets my thoughts. How are we going to explain it?

“I was simply giving Elsie a tour of the library. As you are aware, it is vast and she has a thirst for knowledge about Seelie.” Finneus’s smooth lie catches me off guard, I didn’t expect that from him. I trust him, and figured he’d lie about who I am if it came to it, but seeing it slip so easily from him adds a new layer to the librarian that I haven’t seen until now.

“Even the sealed chambers?” Hume pushes off from the bookshelf and takes a couple of steps in our direction.

“Elsie simply wanted to see some of our history, Hume. Those chambers are older than the palace, as you well know, and she wanted to see them for herself.”