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Despite every attempt to maintain control, my emotions were winning. One look into Silas’s eyes and I was done. I didn’t want him to see me break down, yet again, but I was close. I could feel the pressure building behind my eyes, the tears dangerously near.

“I don’t want to fuck this up,” I said, my voice quivering. “All of my progress—”

Silas pressed his forehead into mine. “You won’t. I know you can do this.”

My breath came out in a fluttering shake. “Silas, you don’t know me without them.”

He scoffed. “You really think I care about that?”

His hand slid down from my neck to my chest. Right over my heart.

“I love you, Noah.”

I was silent. The world was frozen.

“You…”

What the fuck just happened?

“You did not just say that to me,” I whispered. My knees felt weak. My head swam.

“I did,” Silas murmured.

Then he leaned in as if he intended to kiss me again.

Panic shot through me and I lurched out of his grasp. I put my hand up as if that would block him. “N-no.” The word caught in my throat. “Take it back, Silas.”

“No.” He took a step toward me. “I meant what I said. I’m done pretending anymore.”

My pulse thundered in my ears.

Love. The word alone made a chill crawl down my spine. It was a disgusting lie.

“You do not love me,” I said, nearly pleading.

I wanted nothing to do with love. Love was a disguise that husbands use in public when in reality, they are abusing their wives and children.

“There is no love here, Silas,” I snapped. “This is sex. It’s always been sex. That’s all this is.”

My thoughts were spinning out of control. Silas wasn’t backing down. The look in his eyes was exactly the same as when he’d said it. There wasn’t a single part of him that doubted those words.

“It’s more than that to me,” he said softly.

The pressure behind my eyes became too much, and before I could stop it, a tear escaped.

Silas lifted a finger and brushed it from my cheek.

I shoved his hand away. I couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think. Couldn’t make sense of any of it. Silas had just sent me spiraling.

“It’s always been you,” Silas said, and the quiver in his tone scared me more than anything he’d said before.

I shook my head hard, backing away from him. “Don’t say that.”

All at once, the door jerked open behind me, stopping just short of hitting me in the back.

“Oh Jesus, come on, you two, get out of here!”

I flinched at the intrusion, my stomach still doing flips from the conversation I’d had with Silas.