Page 32 of Henrikk’s Secret

His heart ached with love and grief as he’d never felt it before, sharper and crueller than any knife as it hacked into him. He would dream of that place, he realised. Of moments with the love of his life, moments that had never been, and, for him, never would be.

His copy better make damn well sure that Asher was happy.

He stayed there a long time. How long, he did not know, but long enough that he’d all but died as his yearning heart bled from loss.

I didn’t even say goodbye.

That thought haunted him, and he gnawed his knuckles bloody as he guarded the trapdoor as though he were a sentinel. It was as close as he could get to Asher. He liked to think he could still smell him, his scent lingering in the air.

Finally, he left the study. Ten or so agonising steps before he fell into the bed.

It smelled of Asher. But how long until that scent faded?

He had to preserve it, somehow.

It was impossible, he knew, and that terrible helplessness gripped him as he clutched the pillow to his chest and wept.

It was morning, now. Early light filtered in. He was not ready.

Hours passed, during which Henrikk remained in bed.

The sun set—the orange light pooling into the room before fading into inky blackness.

Tomorrow, perhaps, he would summon the strength to go on. Because there was no other choice.

Not because Nathaniel needed his father, because he was no longer deserving of that name. And not because the kingdom needed a king, because there was no shortage of power-hungry vampires to take his place.

He had to go on because the dragon’s work must continue.

Tonight, he would indulge in fantasies of all the moments he would never get to experience with Asher. He needed just one more night of heart-wrenching, soul-destroying melancholy to grace his soul.

Like a soft, gentle sigh into the night forever. An earnest wish upon a star.

Be happy, Asher.

After that, he would steel himself and put Asher from his mind.

The thought pained him, sharp jealousy shooting through him as he thought of the other Henrikk having a lifetime with Asher.

He sucked in a breath of air, then another.

Asher had a chance at happiness, with a version of Henrikk that was free from the shackles the dragon’s magic had placed upon them. Together, they had a chance at happiness.

Without me.

He could not tolerate self-pity, not in the slightest, but just this once, he allowed the feeling to really take over, to soak into his every thought and breath until his entire body felt heavy with it.

A fresh sob tore from his throat.

He, the only Henrikk in this world, would soon fade from their memories.

But he would go on, more powerful than ever, unencumbered by the positive influence of love.

He would embrace the darkness, and he would let the good parts go.

Chapter 6

NO MAN IS AN ISLAND