Page 38 of Plug and Tame

He felt a pang of guilt, defeat piercing him like a thousand arrows.

“I know,” he said reluctantly. “You’re right.”

“It’s not what I want, Nathaniel. But—”

“I know,” he said, drawing her close again. “We need to focus on the plan.” Nathaniel stroked her hair to calm her as much as to calm himself. He wished he had the privilege of seeing her wolf forms right now. He would have loved to see them—his beloveds. Not an accidental glimpse, but the honour of her intentionally showing him. That would have completed him in a way that words could not describe.

And he would not have been able to walk away from her.

Chapter 13

Her Choice

Kira

Something profound had changed for Kira once she’d said those three little words out loud.

I love you.

It had shifted the mood, dissolving a barrier between her and Nathaniel. Suddenly, they could see each other clearly, their hearts laid bare, the love and longing etched into souls stark and undeniable. This was what they both craved, this companionship.

The pure strength of Nathaniel’s affection was disarming, and it had given her the courage to open up her heart and admit that she loved him too. Yet, it hadn’t made a difference, because the outside world was waiting for them, and they couldn’t be together without forsaking everything they believed in.

She’d fallen in love with Nathaniel, the person—the vampire—who was fighting for justice. Whatever they felt right now, however consuming the heady combination of lust and passion was, it wasn’t enough to override who they were, and neither of them could run away.

Which left her feeling trapped by a cause that had once driven her. Her dream of improving the lives of her kin had given her purpose. Now, that role just felt like a duty. It was something she had to do, regardless of her personal feelings or the pull of her heart.

Because what I want doesn’t matter.

A cold helplessness crept in. There was no future for her and Nathaniel, and the limited time they had together was already slipping away.

“It will be all right,” Nathaniel soothed, kissing her tenderly. “Try and sleep.”

It felt good to be held, and she clutched him tightly, unwilling to waste these precious moments on sleep when she could spend it savouring the warmth of his long, lean body. She inhaled his scent, revelling in its smoky muskiness. She memorised every note that distinguished him, and pressed herself closer, wanting their scents to mingle so he would unmistakably be hers.

“I don’t want Mark,” she declared, breaking the silence. “You’re the one I want. I need you to know that.”

Nathaniel’s arms tightened around her. “I know.”

Kira could sense his ambivalence by the tension rippling through his muscles as she stroked his back. He was struggling just as she was, her duty threatening to tear her heart in two.

She hung her head with a defeated sigh. “But it doesn’t change anything, does it?”

Nathaniel pulled back slightly to rest his forehead against hers, their eyes drifting shut as he spoke. “Don’t worry, pet. I will be with you every step of the way. We will both do what needs to be done.”

“And after that?” she prompted. They’d never discussed what would happen once they were successful. “Do you think there’s a chance for us then?” Nathaniel’s face darkened, and she hurriedly continued, “I know you’ll be married, but—”

“Gloria and I will be bound by blood,” he interjected. “I will be obligated to defend her, or else to forfeit my life. The possibility of a marital future between you and me will be…an impossible thing.”

Her heart fell. Tentatively, she asked, “What is she like? Gloria?”

“Not my favourite person.”

“And?”

He shrugged. “She’s decent enough that I haven’t had to kill her, but cruel enough that I will never love her. But like you, she is strong and fearless. She also has the support of many great vampire families.” He rubbed her arms. “Let’s not talk about her.”

Kira’s jaw muscles twitched, but she nodded, her throat feeling tight with the knowledge that she and Nathaniel could never be together. There was only one way forward.