Page 25 of The Christmas Mistake

Mark shakes his head. “That’s the problem. We normally do hire an actors’ agency. The only one in the city. But they’ve had a Christmas party last night and there’s been a… virus that’s knocked out everyone.”

“Every single actor?”

“Yep. They were all there.”

“Jesus.”

“I guess you could say they all caught the acting bug,” I say with a chuckle. Both Mark and Nicholas turn to me with serious expressions on their faces. I guess they just don’t get my highbrow humor.

“And why does this involve us?” Nicholas asks.

But we both know the answer. We’re both dreading it.

Mark wipes his sweaty brow again. He’s clearly nervous about asking us.

“We need a Santa and his elf, and I was thinking you two could make good substitutes.”

The whole room falls silent. I want to be sick.

And then Nicholas laughs.

“No fucking way,” he says. “Not in a million years.”

I don’t say a word.

“Trust me,” Mark mutters. “This is the last thing I want to ask of any of my employees. I know it’s a shit job and that no one in this whole office will want to do it, so I did what I think is fair and decided to pull random names out of a hat. And you two, unfortunately, were the two names I pulled out. I’m sorry, guys, but this has to be done. I need you to be Santa and his elf.”

Nicholas immediately points at me. “Mark, this is wrong. I can’t work with her, and I can’t work Christmas, and I certainly can’t be Santa.”

I grumble at his comment and speak up. “Well, I for one am willing to do this job, Mark. But I’m only willing to do it with anyone except for Nicholas. Literally anyone in this entire office except for this asshat sitting next to me.”

Nicholas scoffs. “Asshat?”

“You heard what I said. It applies.”

Mark raises his hands. “I’m sorry, guys, but the hat has spoken. You two are gonna have to be Santa and his elf.”

“Fuck the hat,” Nicholas says.

“That’s the only thing I agree with you on,” I reply to him.

Mark sighs. “That’s it. I’ve spent all night dealing with this and I can’t deal with it any longer. It’s final. You two are going to do this.”

“I refuse to do it,” Nicholas says.

“Do you want me to pull up your work contract?” Mark asks with a raised eyebrow. “Technically, you are legally bound to do this.”

Nicholas grunts like a wounded animal. “Fuck.”

“Great,” Mark says. “I’m glad to hear your enthusiasm. It’s only from today until Christmas. You’ll get paid extra for it. Go and meet Annie outside the downtown shopping mall. She’s the manager of that particular place. She’ll walk you through everything.”

It all starts to sink in now. My reaction speeds are a little slow on account of the hangover. I actually have to be the elf to Nicholas’ Santa?

Now I really want to be sick.

10

CHASTITY