Page 57 of The Chef

But, most of all, I didn’t expect that kiss.

The kiss in my kitchen.

The kiss that just happened. The kiss that felt so right.

I run my hands through my hair.

What have you gotten yourself into, Cliff?

I’ve fucked half of Europe, and yet this waitress-slash-chef has made me more nervous and giddier than any supermodel or actress or member of nobility ever has.

What’s happening with your heart, Cliff? Have you gone soft?

I head back into my living room, back into my kitchen, and I start to clean up. We made a mess, Bay and I, with the amazing soup she made. We couldn’t stop touching each other, feeling each other, even when we were tasting her food. She’s really cast a spell over me.

And we’d shared a kiss. A long, passionate kiss.

And that was it. We kissed, ate the soup, and then she left. It all seemed to happen so fast. Almost like it was awkward. I found myself saying goodbye to the kids and standing around not knowing what to do with myself as they readied to leave.

Maybe she wanted to go.

Maybe my kiss scared her.

Maybe I fucked up.

It wouldn’t be the first time. This is always what happens when I make the move, just like back in that Paris hotel room with my proposal to Cleo. Everything always goes wrong for me when I try to be genuine. When I put my heart on the line is when everything gets fucked.

And maybe it’s happened again today.

Maybe that was the last time I’ll see Bay Dover. Maybe I’ve screwed up by kissing her and she never wants to see me again.

I bet she hates me, and I know she has every reason to do so. I assumed the kids were hers. I basically accused her of being secretly married. I’ve treated her terribly ever since she first stepped foot inside my restaurant.

What have I done?

I wash the bowls and plates in the soapy water.

Do I actually like her?

Is that why I’m freaking out over her, over what she thinks of me.

No way, but I think I do.

I fancy Bay Dover.

She’s not like other girls. She’s not like Cleo Dash. Bay is good-hearted. Genuine. Smart. Sassy. Someone I want in my life.

In a few days, I’ve gone from hating her guts to now feeling like a schoolboy with a crush whenever she enters a room.

Who have I become?

The man who’s broken a hundred hearts, now reduced to a giddy little boy when even just thinking of Bay Dover.

She has me completely.

Fuck.

I wipe down the bowels with a towel. Finished in the kitchen, I head over to my chair and slump down in it, looking out over the ocean.