Page 45 of The Teacher

This is so right.

We don’t let go of each other for minutes, and it feels like an eternity. A glorious eternity. And when we finally do let go it’s like we’re trying to breathe again. We’ve been overpowered by the other so much we forgot to bring in air.

We’re silent for a moment after our lips separate. I stare into her blue eyes and she stares back at mine.

I smile.

Her arms let go of mine, and I feel her slipping away.

“That was a mistake,” she says, softly.

“What?”

“I can’t forget about the past. That night.”

“Oh.” And it’s like a thousand daggers are penetrating my heart. That night. That stupid house party. I wish I could take it all back. I wish I never did what I’ve done. I will hate myself for that night for the rest of my life.

I’ll never be let go for that one awful mistake.

Sandy faces the ground and steps back.

“I can never go home with you, Skipper.”

And that sentence destroys me. Even though I know, in her heart, it’s not true. I felt her during that kiss. She wants me as much as I want her. I know that. She knows that. She’s just so scared, and I understand why.

Me.

She’s afraid of me.

She’s afraid of what I did to her eight years ago. She doesn’t want her heart broken like that again.

And who can blame her?

“What can I say?” I ask. “I will never do what I did eight years ago again to you. I made a terrible mistake then, and I will never repeat it. Never.”

There’s a long pause. Sandy’s thinking it over.

“You promise?”

I take in a deep breath. This is serious. This is real. She’s asking me from the depths of her soul, this isn’t a promise to take lightly. This is as important as it gets. “I promise.”

Sandy takes another moment to take my words in.

Then she shakes her head, and I know it’s all over.

“I can’t…”

“Why?”

“I can’t do this.”

She ducks her head and jumps into her car. She quickly turns on the ignition and drives away, leaving me alone at the beach.

I watch her car disappear into the distance.

I know she wants me. I know she needs me. I saw the hesitation in her eyes, I tasted the doubt on her lips.

I’ll fight for her love.