Page 73 of The Surfer

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Sandy’s homeeven before I am. She opens the front door when I pull Cove’s car up on the driveway, hugging me quickly before leading me inside to the kitchen table. This time there is no wine on the table. It’s just us two, ready to talk.

“Tell me,” she says as we sit at the table. I must look a mess. I’ve been crying all the way in the car back to her house. She sees how my eyes are red and wet, handing me a pack of tissues to dry them.

The whole way back to her house I’ve been crying over Cove and what he said to me. The final words he said to me ringing in my ears.

Life would be better if you weren’t here anymore, so just fuck off back to America.

That’s what he said to me before he disappeared off to his drugs and drinks. Those final words of his have burned into my soul like I’ve been branded with them. On the long lonely drive to Sandy’s house, his voice has repeated those words over and over in my mind, slowly wearing me down, each repeat of those words slowly eroding my weak heart.

Cove has gone. You knew he’d run away from you.

“It’s a long story,” I say to my best friend as she sits and listens.

“I’ve got the time,” she replies. “Tell me everything.”

There’s no point holding anything back now, no point in hiding any more secrets from Sandy.

Sitting at that kitchen table with Sandy, I explain everything to her. Everything that has happened between Cove and me since we met. Well… maybe not everything - not the sex parts. She doesn’t need to know about those, but she gets the gist.

“At first I hated him,” I say. “But then everything started to change.”

I tell her about how we’d gone from enemies to lovers and how we both stripped away our defenses and each got to see the real us.

I told her how I’d fallen for him.

How I’ve fallen in love with Cove Finn.

And I end on his final words to me on our secret beach. His anger. I told her how he’d ran away and left me on that beach, and that’s where she finds me now crying in front of her.

A broken woman.

She might as well hear the whole truth.

Sandy listens to it all, not speaking a word. She watches me intensely as I recount how I fell in love with her brother and how he’s run away from me as all men do. There are no more secrets, the load has finally been lifted from my shoulders.

And when I finish telling Sandy everything, she doesn’t say anything for a long time. I’m surprised by that. Instead of screaming or yelling at me as I expect, she instead sighs and sits still, contemplating, across the table from me, clearly taking the time to think of what to say. I’m so nervous my legs are shaking underneath the table. I can’t tell what she’s thinking, her face is unreadable.

Have I gone too far? Have I destroyed the relationships of both my best friend and the man I love in one afternoon?

“And what do you want to do now?” she asks me quietly. She isn’t angry, or yelling, or furious like I’d expect. She remains calm. Sandy isn’t revealing what she really thinks about it all.

“I think I want to go home,” I reply. It’s the truth.

I just want to see my Mom.

“Is that what you really want to do?”

“Yes,” I say, and Sandy slowly nods. She is handling this so emotionally well. God, I love her and her solid presence. “I don’t trust men and I knew I shouldn’t have trusted Cove, no offense.”

Sandy smiles. “Oh, he’s a prick and you’re free to say it.”

“Yeah?”

“You know, I thought something would happen between the two of you, but I didn’t think he’d hurt you like this. I’m sorry that he broke your heart. Truly.”

She’s apologizing to me?