Page 54 of In Between Death and the Devil

“You look like you’re struggling, too,” Bea said, her voice thick. “Want to talk about it?”

I opened my mouth to tell her no, but what came out was: “Have you ever trusted someone you shouldn’t?”

Her brows drew together. “What do you mean?”

“I…” The longing to tell her everything was strong, but revealing to anyone that I was working with the Devil was too risky. “I’ve gotten to know someone recently. We’ve been… working together. I thought they were someone I could trust, but last night they were cruel.”

“Another servant?” Bea asked.

I made a noncommittal noise that she seemed to take for assent.

“Did they pressure you to do something you didn’t want to do?”

“Sort of. No,” I said at the horrified look on her face. “Nothing like you’re thinking. Nothing sexual.”

“That doesn’t matter. If they pressured you⁠—”

“Pressured is the wrong word. They challenged me to do something I needed to do but was afraid to.” I didn’t know why I was defending him, but it felt wrong not to. As much as I hated grieving my family the way I had the night before, I’d agreed to our sessions. I wanted to learn to control my powers, to help the In Between. Blaming the Devil for my decisions wasn’t fair.

“So, they challenged you to do something, and then they were cruel about it?” Bea asked.

“Yes.” Hearing her encapsulate it in such simple terms was a relief.

Except Bea’s face crinkled in confusion. “Out of nowhere?”

Her question stumped me for a moment. I wanted to say no. The Devil was a manipulator by nature, except his cruelty hadn’t felt like manipulation. Everything he’d done had been to bring me closer to him. I couldn’t imagine what he’d hoped to gain by pushing me away.

“Yes.”

“And you feel that their… outburst makes them untrustworthy,” Bea said.

I wasn’t sure how to answer that since I’d never thought he was trustworthy, and yet I’d bonded with him anyway to try to save the realm. “It certainly doesn’t make me want to trust them.”

I bit my lip as Bea looked at the floor, like she was mulling over what I’d told her. Since the Devil’s outburst didn’t make sense, maybe I had it all wrong. Maybe she thought I was being too sensitive. Maybe I was.

“It sounds horrible,” she said finally. “Such an abrupt shift is confusing.”

“Thank you.” My shoulders sagged a little with relief at the sympathy in her eyes.

“Is it possible there’s a reason for their cruelty?” Her tone was gentle, but I reared back.

“You think I deserved it?”

“No.” Her eyes went wide. “No, Maeve, that’s not what I mean. It sounds like this is out of character for them, from what you’ve observed. I wonder if there’s a reason for it.”

It was my turn to frown. “You think something might justify what they said?”

“Justify” is maybe not the right word. It sounds like they owe you an apology at the very least. But something might explain their behavior.”

I hadn’t considered that. The hurt from last night was still fresh. It reminded me too much of Colt. But hope fluttered in my chest. I was tied to the Devil for the rest of my existence. It would make things simpler if I could make sense of his behavior and figure out how to handle him.

“You never know what people are going through.” She gestured to herself with a sad laugh. “Everybody makes mistakes. Do you think this person deserves a chance to explain?”

I did. Despite everything, I’d grown comfortable with the Devil’s presence. More than that, part of me wanted to trust him, because it would make things so much easier, which scared me. “How do I know if I can trust what he says?”

“For me it’s a feeling, an intuitive knowing.” She shrugged. “You can also let their behavior speak for itself. See if his actions agree with his words.”

I nodded, trying to hide my grimace. My judgment was questionable, and I wasn’t sure there was an explanation that would allow me to move past what had happened.