Page 88 of Her Royal Houseguest

He looked at Lady Anna. ‘Do you wish for tea?’

Her brows rose, obviously surprised. ‘Yes, actually, that would be lovely.’

His gaze cut to the butler’s. ‘Bring it. And those tarts she likes.’

The butler bowed, perhaps sensing that this was his way of apologising to her. He was still angry. At Vaji. At the sickness that took all his servants. At the English for being so slow to start negotiations.

And at himself for allowing a woman to distract him. Or perhaps the word was attract.

‘I want you,’ he rasped when they were alone. ‘In my bed. Under my body. Screaming out my name as you take me inside.’ He looked straight into her eyes as he said the last part. ‘I burn with lust for you. And that poisons my purpose here.’

She swallowed, her cheeks abruptly pale. ‘I…’ Her words faltered. Then she tried again. ‘I poison you?’

‘My purpose. How do I bring your prince to the negotiation table? He wants the East India Company to speak for him.’ He curled his lip. ‘Your Lord Patrick.’

She snorted. ‘He’s hardly my lord.’

No but she had danced with him. He had seen the way she smiled at him and that churned the acid in his gut. It had begun the fury that even now coiled like a snake in his blood.

‘I will not negotiate with him!’ he snarled.

She folded her arms as she thought through his words. ‘Moving Prinny will be very hard. The Crown has more advantage if the Company represents it. Better tax revenue and no questions asked.’

He nodded. The East India Company had done terrible things in the name of commerce. Exploiting artisans for beautiful cloth was bad enough but the flow of opium into his country had to be stopped. The Golden Throne had banned the terrible drug, but it still found its way in through secret channels all fostered by the East India Company.

If a country did this, they would go to war. But it was a company, and that was harder to stop.

He frowned, forcing himself to swallow his pride. ‘Can you help me?’

Her eyes widened. Did she know how humiliating it was for a royal prince to ask such a thing from a woman? Especially a foreign one? And yet, reason told him that he must accept help from wherever he could. Even from her. Especially from her.

‘I thought I poison you,’ she drawled.

How did he explain? ‘My heart is filled with poison. It is anger at what I cannot have.’ Respect. Honour for himself and his country. And her.

‘So you throw it around? Let your poison splash onto everyone close to you?’

He swallowed. Yes, that is exactly what he had done. ‘Help me be better. Teach me how you stand tall when everyone cuts you a thousand different ways.’

She stepped up to him then, so close they could kiss. She set a hand on his chest as if to feel his heartbeat. And then she said nothing. Just stood there with her hand on his chest. Her expression shifted, emotions flowing through, none staying for more than a second or two. He saw desire and need but also fear and sorrow. It was that last one that had him shifting to cover her hand with his.

They were together in this, it seemed. Desire with no outlet. Need without marriage because he could not take her virginity without losing his own honour. And she should not give in unless she wished to leave everything to follow him to Siam.

And then she made it worse. Or rather, she pointed out how he had destroyed what little there was between them.

‘You deliberately hurt me just now,’ she said. ‘You called me cursed and backwards.’

‘I…’ He had called his mission cursed and her country backwards. But the words had been aimed at her. ‘I am failing,’ he whispered. ‘Lust distracts me. I stopped watching Vaji. Prinny will not negotiate with me.’ He clenched his fists in frustration. ‘I cannot fail and yet I am.’

She swallowed. Surely, she understood. How many times had she talked about failing in her tasks, failing her family, failing in every way? How had she lived with that and not lashed out at everyone and everything?

‘You taught me that I am strong. That I am capable and not cursed.’

He nodded. ‘You are.’

‘I will not love a man who hurts me on purpose. I am worth more than that.’

So saying, she pulled away from him and left just as her butler appeared carrying the tea tray.