Page 98 of A Crown of Hopes and Sorrows

Returning home right as the crisp winds of winter reached Niria was like slipping into a favorite robe, tasting a bite of a food I hadn’t had since childhood, holding the hand of someone I trusted without hesitation.

It was comforting amid the chaos we had endured.

After thanking each of the guards who’d traveled with us and saying my farewells to Len, I ambled through the hallways of the palace and sighed, my body bone-weary, exhaustion crashing into me. I straightened as I approached the throne room, inclining my head to the attendants.

They opened the jewel-inlaid doors, and one spoke, his voice echoing around the chamber and drawing the attention of the advisors and high lords that stood near Father where he sat on his throne. “His Royal Highness, Prince Hyacinth.”

I strode down the carpeted walk, water trickling in the pools alongside the walls as the eyes of the room pinned on me. And, gods, it was too much. My resolve felt like it might break. I reached the front and bowed. “Father.”

Father studied me for two heartbeats and then stood, his robe draping against the stone at his feet. “Everyone out,” he said, his voice booming through the space. “At once.”

The crowd scuttled from the chamber, the room emptying, the running water a hushing melody broken by the occasional fish jumping out of their pools. When the door closed with a thud, Father turned towards me and squeezed my shoulder. “What is it, son?”

“I…” Words flooded through my mind. Things I needed to tell him about Zephyrus, Flora, the gods, the war, and… Apollo. But they wouldn’t form. They stuck like honey candy, clinging to my brain, and I gave my head a shake as the hopelessness of the last weeks pierced through me again. “Father, it’s…”

“Cyn,” he whispered and then clutched his arms around me. I sighed and leaned against him, letting him hold me up for a moment. “It’s fine. Take your time. But take a seat, and tell me what’s the matter?”

And so, I lowered into the throne beside of his, cleared my throat, and started at the beginning. Father kept his gaze steady on me, not interrupting other than nodding or occasionally humming a response, his eyebrows cinching together. When I finished, I swept my hands out as if I could make sense of it all, repair my mistakes, undo the issues.

Father sighed and removed his crown, dropping it onto his lap. “Well, your trip was successful, then.”

I gasped. “How can you say that?”

“You traveled intending to find information on who may align with us or not. And you’ve produced that. Perhaps it’s not all that we hoped for, but we know where we stand now.”

“Aren’t you”—I ground my teeth together—“disappointed in me?”

His expression washed away, and he leaned in closer to me, squeezing my arm. “Of course I’m not.”

“But I failed you. Apollo and I ruined this mission.”

“Why do you believe that?”

I clenched my fingers, and my rings bit into my flesh. “We publicly made a mess of everything.”

Father’s jaw worked, his gray streaked hair glimmering in the silvery light that flowed in from windows. “I can see Apollo’s actions have hurt you. But what I understand from your account is that you both sussed out information about Zephyrus and avoided a disastrous alignment of our country with him. I agree with your take that he likely wished for the attachment for his benefit at our expense. And if he means to stand against Jupiter”—Father gave his head a toss—“we couldn’t go along with that. I don’t intend to anger two high-gods at once. Inciting Zeus is foolish enough on its own.”

His forehead wrinkled, and it hit me how old he looked. His lines had deepened in the last years, his shoulders hunching. He sighed and clapped my shoulder. “No. The trip was a success, and it puts us in a better if more immediate position. A guard from Apollo’s party arrived this morning. They suspect Ansair stands against us as well.”

I knew I should respond to the political implications, but words spilled out of my mouth before I could stop them. “They’re back?”

“They should be in a day or two. They ran into some issues but made it out, unfortunately with unfavorable news. But, once again, at least we know where we stand.”

I nodded, but my mind shifted to Apollo. I trembled as if all the fear I’d felt for him in the last week of travel had knotted its way into my muscles and suddenly loosened.

“Hyacinth?” Father said.

I raised my face. “Yes?”

“It’s okay to forgive him.”

A peacock strutted by an open window, shaking long feathers out, its cry shrieking through the space. “He shamed me… publicly.”

Father sighed. “Yes. But”—he waited until I lifted my gaze to meet his—“you’re still in love with him.”

I smoothed my hand down my lapel. “I’m an idiot. Relationships have to be built on respect.”

“True. But no one’s perfect. Not even gods.” Father chuckled. “Maybe especially gods. From what I understand, however, you believe Apollo was attempting to help you. He’s followed through with the mission you sent him on, and the guard tells me he saved Delon and the other’s lives. That does not sound like a man who feels no remorse.”