Page 82 of A Crown of Hopes and Sorrows

“Thank you, Your Highness,” Delon said before bowing again and turning to leave the room. Ansair’s guards huddled around our group like a dust cloud, intent on consuming us. But Delon kept his eyes forward until we reached the streets of the city. “Let’s see if we can find a public dining hall of some sort and get some drinks before we turn in for the night.”

My heart sank like a stone into the well of my stomach. That was supposed to be my chance to prove myself to Cyn. And it was a disaster. Something in me already knew that breakfast with the king wouldn’t help. In fact… I dropped my voice to a whisper. “I think Zephyrus might have involved himself in this.”

Delon looked back over his shoulder where palace staff lingered, their gazes glued on us. “Yeah, I suspected as much myself. We need to stay within the eyes of the court. I feared that if we followed those guards to a bedroom tonight, that may have been our last actions in this life.” He grinned at me. “Or mine, at least. I guess Zephyrus couldn’t take out a high deity.”

I shivered. “Is returning tomorrow a wise idea, then?” Delon, for all his bluster, was just a mortal. And the reminder of how easily an enemy could harm him filled me with panic.

Delon clicked his tongue. “I plan to get many drinks tonight.”

A merchant on the side of the street held up silk fabric before us, and we weaved past him. “Getting drunk would help?”

Delon chuckled. “No. But making sure that people in this city know that we’re here and intend to visit again tomorrow might.”

I nodded, and we pushed ourselves through the crowd and into a bustling dining hall. Delon ordered several drinks and slid one across the table to me. I took a swallow, but then the pit in my stomach grew, like a sinkhole that would slowly consume me. This was my opportunity. And it was already over.

“I’ll return in a minute.”

Delon frowned but inclined his head to me, and I rose, maneuvering out of the building and walking around the back until I found a ladder that led to the roof. I climbed it and then dropped with a sigh. The city sprawled out, as massive as Niria. The height made my stomach lurch and my vision blur.

It felt good to fear something as stupid as falling.

Because that dulled the actual pain.

Hyacinth.

I’d let him down… in a million ways. I’d embarrassed him and misread him, and now I had made no difference in shifting Ansair towards becoming an ally for Niria. In fact, I might have done the opposite. The king had sneered at me being related to Zeus. Perhaps Hyacinth’s high priest had been right. Maybe I would be most useful if I ascended and had some proper authority and power.

But, no.

I fought my ascension.

Now more than ever.

Because I’d wanted time with Hyacinth.

Which we wouldn’t have—once again—because of me.

I’d worried about only having until the spring. Now that time was gone as well. I’d thrown it away with both hands.

I peeled my knapsack off and pulled the leather folio of poetry out. I flipped it open, the thick pages landing with a thump against the cover. On the very last page, Hyacinth’s elegant hand had written a poem. Two stanzas. The lettering impeccable in its beauty.

I read the first couple of lines.

It was a love poem.

Of course it was. He’d said to look at it when I needed a reminder of his feelings for me. But I’d ruined that. I pulled the leather cover back, and the pages smacked as it closed.

I bowed my head as tears slipped down my cheeks.

The ladder creaked, and I rubbed my shoulder over the back of my face to wipe the moisture away and shoved the folio into my bag. Delon jumped up onto the roof, landing with a thud, and dropped beside me, offering me a tin mug.

I took it and swallowed some of the alcohol. “How’d you find me?”

“I told a guard to watch where you went.”

“What?”

He took a drink from his cup. “The people here don’t like us. I don’t think getting split up would be wise.”