Page 90 of A Veil of Gods and Kings

Valerian chuckled and scratched his fingers over his jaw. “With the way Pip is picking back up the bow and arrow, I’m in excellent hands. Don’t waste energy worrying about me.”

Temi laughed. “Good. I won’t.”

I smirked at her, and we parted ways, Valerian and I ambling down a path through the woods. Crickets chittered, and birds snipped and chirped at each other. A squirrel scampered up a tree, dropping a nut that crackled down the bark and rolled onto the trail.

I slowed my steps. Valerian tucked his hands behind his back as he eased his pace to match mine. “Do you enjoy the excitement of being almost late? Want to have the thrill of running the last ten minutes, so we make it on time?”

I laughed. “No, but… would you hate me if I said I just wanted to stretch this afternoon out for as long as I could?”

“To start with, you are un-hate-able.”

I rolled my eyes. “Not true.”

“It is. Name one person who doesn’t like you?”

My feet crackled over twigs, and I sighed. “Maybe your mother?”

He tossed his head to the side, his eyebrows drawing together. “Do you believe that?”

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“She just worries about me. It has nothing to do with you.”

I fiddled with the coarse edge of my sleeve. “Did she injure herself working?”

Val clicked his tongue, but his lips pinched. “Her wrists cause her trouble.”

“If Hyacinth knew, he’d give her a break from the kitchens—”

“Yes, well”—Valerian pulled a vine off the path, tumbling it between his fingers—“that would make me feel better, but her damned pride gets in the way. She’s worked hard to earn her position and would be rather unhappy to give it up.” He chuckled, his eyes sparkling again. “I can’t say I blame her though. I’d do the same. Break my leg and still show up to tend the horses the next morning.”

I smiled at him, and we fell silent. But an unease swept through me. When Valerian spoke of his mother, his expression tightened, worry lines creeping up on his face. His laughter seemed designed for me, and I wished he could share how he really felt instead. But I was the princess. That’s how everyone always treated me, untouchable, distant, apart. Even Valerian felt the need to shelter his real thoughts from me.

A bird swooped across the path, and another followed behind. They disappeared into the shimmying sea of tree leaves. “Do you ever wish you could run away?”

Valerian frowned. “Why? Do you?”

“Yes. Always.”

His expression deepened. “You aren’t planning to run away, are you?”

We reached the crest of a hill, the palace bathed in the golds of sunset ahead. I sighed. “No. I know my place. I’m aware that all of this”—I gestured to the forest, to the world outside the walls, to him—“is a temporary game I’m letting myself play. My role is to make connections for the kingdom in my marriage. And I know that’s my place. But, do you ever wish you could leave here and start life new somewhere else where no one knows you?”

Valerian studied me for a long moment before speaking. “Yes.”

“What would you do?”

He tilted his head, his dark hair gleaming copper in the light. “I don’t know. Maybe I’d give up living in the apartments above the stables.” He smirked. “Go for a new view. Perhaps a cottage to the side of it, instead.”

I chuckled. “That cannot be your greatest dream.”

His smile faded, a seriousness permeating his expression. For a moment, the crickets and our breathing and a wind that seemed to wrap us together like a blanket were the only things that existed in the world. Valerian’s nose flared, and his words came as a whisper. “No. That’s not my greatest dream.”

“What is it?” I said, making barely more than a hush of sound myself.

He swallowed, his throat bobbing, and bowed his head. “It’s as you said, Pip. I know my place. And like you, my dreams don’t align with it, but it’s the path I’m on anyway, isn’t it?”

“Yeah,” I whispered.