Page 95 of A Lady’s Guide to Subterfuge and Science

She didn’t know. Her family loved her, she knew that. But being loved so perfectly very often went hand in hand with the knowledge that it was rare and unlikely to ever occur again.

“Could you love me?” he asked, the question coming out in a strangled plea. “As I am?”

The time had come. It was time to choose between love and—well, it was love and fear, wasn’t it? She could try to convince herself that she was picking between Oliver and the safety of her own company, but she knew that wasn’t true. It was fear, so comfortable to her by now that it barely registered as such, that awaited her if she refused him now. No matter what she chose, she’d have to swallow the risks and uncertainty that came along with it. The moment for wayward, private thoughts had passed. She had to choose, and she had to do it with her whole chest.

Well? What will it be?

Kalila took a breath. “I could,” she said, the walls around her heart finally reduced to rubble. Her own doing. “It terrifies me, but I could.”

*

He had her.

Well, maybe not quite, but this was as close as he’d ever come to it.

Kalila stood before him, a vision in green satin, her short curls ruffled by the wind. She blinked up at him with an odd expression on her face, one that was equal parts mortified and delighted.

He loved her. It felt so damned good to say it aloud—so good, in fact, that he’d barely worried about how she might respond. That was how desperate he’d been to let her know.

She began to wring her hands together. “Everything we were discussing—all of it could come to pass.”

“What could?”

“The resentment,” she whispered. “And the suffocation.”

Oliver held her gaze for a long, silent moment. “Do you really think that?”

She turned to look at the skyline, a rosiness creeping up her neck. Letting out a long exhale, she said, “No. No, I don’t. I’ve run out of excuses.”

“Are you sure?” he teased. “I’d be willing to hear one more.”

“Perhaps you ought to come up with one,” she retorted.

“If you can’t, then neither can I,” he told her. “You’re far smarter than I could ever hope to be.”

She placed her chin in her hand and let out a hum of acknowledgment.

“And she doesn’t even try to spare my feelings by denying it!” he said, pressing his hand against his heart.

She broke out into laughter, the sound lilting and sweet. “You’re free to revoke your declaration of love, if you like.”

Oliver took both of her hands in his. “I could never do that. I love you with every fiber of my being, Kalila, and I’m too far gone to ever be able to take it back.”

Biting her lower lip, she asked, “What do we do now?”

“Well, we have the seminar to attend tomorrow,” he said. “What we do every day after that is entirely up to you.”

“The seminar,” she groaned, pulling away from him and burying her head in her hands.

Oliver frowned. “You don’t mean to attend?”

“No,” she said, her misery plain. “I thought I’d return to Painswick before it took place.”

“And now I’ve ruined your plan by telling you I love you, is that it?” Oliver asked, entirely too pleased with himself.

“Precisely,” she said, straightforward as ever. “And now I haven’t the faintest idea of what to do. All I know is my days as Dameer Rafiq are over.”

Oliver shrugged. “I can’t say I’m sorry to see him go.”