Page 31 of Offside

I mean, obviously, the guy was gay and knew what he liked, but me? I had no idea and stayed far from the conversation. I’d never tried anything on my own, so it wasn’t like I had insider knowledge or something–oh, god, what if he was a top and wanted me to…

It really didn’t matter–I was never meeting him.

Pang.

And just like that, my mood was shattered.

That should have been a comforting thought–that he was a safe person to explore with because I’d never have to see him, but it wasn’t. He was safe to me because he was him, and that same comforting idea that I'd never meet him now seemed like a weird curse.

He could be anywhere right now, and I’d never know him.

Fuck–now I really needed that time with him later to stop feeling like this.

My phone buzzed in my hand again.

BaskarKnight: I realise now that we’ve never really talked about that, and that maybe you were in a spiral over there with how long I’ve been left on read. You okay over there, baby?

MetalMonkey: You know me well.

BaskarKnight: I figured. It’s okay, Metal. I didn’t mean to push or anything with you. I know that the concept is new, so maybe you haven’t done much exploring of certain topics, but if it helps at all, I’m a switch. I don’t strictly like one or the other more, so if you’re not into something, it’s no skin off my back.

BaskarKnight: You just have to tell me so I know, baby.

MetalMonkey: I just…I DON’T know what I’m into–I’ve never tried.

MetalMonkey: Maybe that’s something I can try later? With you? I normally feel better doing stuff like that alone, but not since doing it with you, so if that’s weird, I get it, but if not, maybe we could try exploring that together?

BaskarKnight: I’ll try anything with you, babe. I meant it when I said this was your show, and I’ll give you anything you want.

BaskarKnight: We can even try that tonight, if you want.

BaskarKnight: Your show, baby. I’m just… completely fucking yours at this point, so use me however you want.

Chapter 14

Sam

Landon and I played like magic that night.

Every pass was connecting, and it was all seamless and amazing–we even scored on our shift. His mood turned around so much by the time we were back for the game, and mine got better the second Knight said everything was fine.

Or maybe it was that silly comment about how he was mine–that really did make something warm flare up in me.

We talked the whole three hours I had between practice and our game, even if part of it was spent sleeping–he stayed on the phone while I slept.

How sweet was that?

We just reached a level of comfort that I now needed to feel every day, for me to know everything was alright. Not being able to have that hit this morning had my whole day off-kilter.

“Marks, Karter,” Coach Banning barked out, tapping Landon’s shoulder to send us in.

We’d been playing so well together tonight that he was playing us more than usual–when something wasn’t broken, you didn’t try to fix it.

Landon led me out, a smile seeming surgically stuck on his face since we came back for the game. I followed his lead and blended with him easily, defending our zone like it was second nature again.

Hockey had always been fun for me, but the last few years of feeling like I had adult cooties with the way I was being traded…it sucked a lot of the fun out of it for me.

But it was back tonight.