Page 86 of The Secret Diary of Anne de Bourgh

There was a time when I could not have imagined anybody wishing to see Rosings without Lady Catherine there to receive them. She made herself so much a part of every room that even now I find it difficult to think of the house standing quietly without her.

I wonder whether it feels different.

Richard asked whether there was anything I wished him to bring back.

I could not immediately think of anything. Most of what I wanted has already been sent to me, and I have acquired so many little possessions since leaving that my room here feels much more my own than my rooms at Rosings ever did.

“Only tell me how it looks,” I said.

He regarded me for a moment, then nodded.

“I shall.”

Perhaps it will be useful for him to see the place again. When I speak of wishing to leave it, he may understand more clearly what I mean.

I do not know what Mr Byerly will think of it. He was very pleased by Darcy’s suggestion, and thanked me again before he left.

I had done very little to deserve his thanks. It was Richard’s company I had given up, and I had not meant to do that.

25 October

Kitty’s drawing is to be published in the next issue of the Repository of Arts.

She received the news this morning and read the letter twice before allowing anybody else to look at it. The gentleman who wrote also asked whether she would send some further designs.

“He wishes for more,” she said, looking up at us. “He has not merely said that he will consider anything I happen to send. He has asked for at least one new design a month.”

Elizabeth held out her hand for the letter.

“So he has,” she said, after reading it. “You had better allow yourself to believe him.”

Kitty laughed, but she looked as though she might cry. Georgiana embraced her, which nearly settled the matter.

I am very glad that somebody beyond our own family has discovered how clever she is. We have all benefited from her work, but I do not think our admiration could have given her quite the pleasure of that request.

We were to visit Mrs Gardiner today, and the letter naturally came with us.

Mrs Gardiner had arranged that we might look at some fabrics at her husband’s warehouse. Kitty had been looking forward to this already; after the morning’s news, I believe she could scarcely have been more eager if she had been invited to choose everything in it.

Elizabeth remained at home to rest. Mrs Gardiner took Kitty, Georgiana and me, having first listened very patiently while Kitty explained exactly what had been said in the letter.

I had never seen so much cloth together.

There were pieces which looked quite ordinary until they were unfolded, and others whose colours altered when they were held towards the light. Kitty was in transports of delight. She would scarcely finish admiring one before discovering another which required her immediate attention.

“This would fall beautifully,” she said, gathering a length of blue fabric into folds over her arm. “Anne, come here a moment.”

I obeyed, though I have learnt that those words generally mean I am about to become part of a gown.

She held it against me, considered, then asked to see another piece.

Mrs Gardiner reminded her that we had come to select fabric, not to have every bolt in the warehouse opened.

Kitty took the gentle reproach very well, and confined herself for nearly ten minutes to the pieces already before her.

Georgiana chose a soft green which suited her exceedingly well. Kitty approved, but was soon more interested in a plainer fabric which she thought might answer for one of her new designs. She asked about its width and price, and listened closely to the answers.

I remembered how offended she had been when first asked to simplify her drawings. Today she was considering how much cloth a gown would require before she had even drawn it.