Page 74 of The Secret Diary of Anne de Bourgh

I helped with their refreshments. One little boy attempted to assure me that he had not yet received a piece of cake, but unfortunately for his argument there were still crumbs upon his chin. Fortunately, there was plenty of cake for everyone to have as many slices as they wished. I hope his having ginger cake as well as lemon cake will not leave him with an upset stomach for his mother to manage this evening.

Mr Byerly, who was helping nearby, found this very amusing.

I was pouring apple juice when I heard Richard say my name.

He had arrived while we were occupied and had taken time to settle before joining us. I had scarcely a moment to look at him before somebody required another cup, but he remained beside us while I attended to it.

“It is good to see you so busy, Annie,” he said when I could turn back to him.

“It is very good to see you at all.”

He smiled, and I was glad that I had said it.

We had little opportunity for further conversation. I was wanted elsewhere, and Richard went to sit with Darcy and Christopher. Later I saw him laughing with Mr Thurston, and was pleased to think that he was enjoying himself too.

We returned to the house before the evening’s festivities, leaving a great many people perfectly willing to continue without us. There is dancing still to come, and I daresay they will make a much later night of it than I shall.

I am glad that Pemberley takes such trouble for the people who work here. Lady Catherine certainly never arranged anything of the kind at Rosings. I had not understood how much pleasure might be given, or how much attention was required to give it properly.

I have been very happy to help Elizabeth, but I do not wish to have her responsibilities myself, or at least, not on such a scale. There are so many people to consider, and today was intended only for their amusement. Their ordinary needs must require a great deal more thought. I should like to manage a home well, but I am more certain than ever that I do not wish for a great estate.

Tomorrow we must prepare for the masquerade.

Mrs Reynolds has already asked me to come to her after breakfast. I think I had better set aside my pen and go to bed.

17 September

Yesterday passed in a confusion of flowers, messages and people looking for things which somebody else had put away.

Elizabeth and Mrs Reynolds kept us all occupied. By the time I was free to dress, I was quite ready to sit down and allow my maid to do whatever she wished with my hair.

Kitty came to inspect me before I went downstairs. She adjusted the silver trimming at one shoulder and then, for the first time, appeared entirely satisfied with her handwork.

I was more than satisfied: I was delighted with my gown. The pale blue and silver looked lovely together, and the sleeves had been contrived so prettily that I scarcely thought about my scarred arms.

Elizabeth was autumn, in russet and gold, with leaves about her mask, as she had asked Kitty upon first seeing the design. Georgiana looked very graceful in white, though she was anxious that the feathers upon her own mask should remain where Kitty had placed them.

There was no danger of mistaking Richard, whatever he wore. His black cloak and mask could not conceal his height, or the familiar way in which he stood with his cane.

He recognised me as readily, and the way he took the time to look me up and down thoroughly before speaking made my unruly heart skip a beat.

“You look very lovely, Annie.”

I had imagined him saying something of the sort often enough while Kitty fitted my gown. When he actually said it, I could only thank him and hope that he did not see how affected I was by his words.

The evening was a great success. Several ladies asked about our gowns, and Elizabeth took care that they should know whose designs they were. Kitty attempted to receive their praise modestly, but afterwards came to squeeze my hand so hard that I nearly cried out.

Mary and Christopher seemed to find one another without the smallest difficulty, despite their disguises. I do not think either had much inclination to look for anybody else.

I danced with Richard, and was very happy for the time we were together. He asked about my music and whether Luna still attempted to climb anything higher than herself. It was easy to talk to him, and easy to forget everything I had been telling myself since he went away.

Afterwards he sat down, and Mr Byerly came to claim me for a dance.

He was dressed in an embroidered coat and waistcoat, which became him very well. He admired my gown and said that Kitty’s design was a great triumph, but would not look half so well on anybody else.

I enjoyed his company. I wish I could be satisfied with saying that, without immediately examining how much I enjoyed it, and whether it was enough.

Later we spoke of the art galleries which might be visited in London. He said he hoped we might find an opportunity to see some paintings together.