Page 70 of The Secret Diary of Anne de Bourgh

“Certainly not. You are very useful; your proportions are quite excellent as a model for my designs!”

I was pleased and gratified to hear this, though I suspect I shall regret my satisfaction when she next asks me to remain in some uncomfortable position.

Mr Byerly called in the afternoon.

When he was announced, I had an immediate impulse to leave the room. I could have gone to fetch something, and perhaps remained upstairs until he had departed.

Then I remembered that I had spent the whole of yesterday upstairs, and that it had improved nothing.

I stayed where I was.

He seemed very pleased to see me.

I asked whether Mr Thurston had received his books safely, and thanked him again for bringing them. Then I told him about Kitty’s news.

He congratulated her with so much evident pleasure that she fetched the drawing to show him.

“I remember this,” he said. “Though I believe there was rather more upon the sleeve when I first saw it.”

“There was.”

“I hope you will forgive me if I say that I like it better now.”

Kitty considered him for a moment.

“You may say so, provided you do not suggest that I remove anything else.”

He laughed and promised to make no further demands.

We spoke for some time. I asked about his sister, and he told me of her efforts to persuade her husband to choose a costume which would suit her own. Matthew Thurston had apparently suggested that, as they were already married, they need not go to such lengths to convince everybody that they belonged together.

I could imagine him saying it, and laughed too.

For a little while I forgot to consider whether I was enjoying myself.

When Mr Byerly rose to leave, I asked whether his sister might come with him upon his next visit. Georgiana had been speaking of some music they both wished to try, and I thought she would be glad of the opportunity.

“I shall tell her,” he said. “She will be very pleased.” He looked very happy when he bade me goodbye.

I hope I have not been wrong to encourage him.

Richard thinks well of him. Darcy does too. I have found him intelligent and agreeable, and he has been consistently kind. I cannot expect to learn whether I might feel more for him if I spend every visit wishing he were somebody else.

After he had gone, I practised with Georgiana. I made several mistakes, though fewer than I expected, and she did not tell me to begin again quite so often.

I will go down to dinner with everybody this evening.

I still miss Richard. I think I shall miss him very much for a long time, but I have done something today besides waiting for him to come back. I am determined not to mope and repine, even though I felt as though my heart was breaking open in my chest when he told me that he thought I should marry Mr Byerly.

31 August

Darcy has begun to disappear before breakfast.

The harvest seems to require him in several places at once, and Mr Byerly has been accompanying him. He came so early yesterday that I had not yet begun to dress when I heard his horse upon the drive.

Elizabeth wondered whether her husband had remembered to feed his pupil before taking him out. Mrs Reynolds assured her that both gentlemen had eaten, which appeared to satisfy her.

Elizabeth asked Mary and me to help Mrs Reynolds check the provisions which were to be sent out today. I had imagined that this would chiefly consist of looking at a great deal of bread and cheese, but there were lists to compare, and the number of people to be allowed for had altered since the first arrangements were made.