Page 63 of The Secret Diary of Anne de Bourgh

Yesterday they had been discussing the rooms she would use when she was mistress of the house. Christopher wished to have a sitting-room made ready particularly for her, and had asked whether she would like a new writing-desk.

Mary thanked him, then asked where he generally sat in the evenings.

“In the library, when I am at home.”

“Then might I have somewhere to write there?”

“Certainly. But you will want a room of your own as well,” Christopher said.

“I daresay I shall. Only I should not wish you to furnish it very expensively upon the expectation that I would always be in it.”

He looked at her.

“Where would you prefer to be?”

“With you.”

She said it quite simply, though she coloured afterwards.

I was sitting nearby with my book, and became exceedingly interested in the page before me.

Christopher was quiet for a moment, but then from the corner of my eye I saw him reach out and lightly touch her hand. “I should like that very much,” he said.

They went on to discuss where a small table might stand, and whether the chair Mary remembered could be brought downstairs. She said that it had been very comfortable when she tried it.

“I had intended to buy you something new,” he protested.

“But I liked that one.”

“Then you shall have it.”

It seemed a very satisfactory arrangement to me. He was considerate of her comfort and showed clear desire to please her; Mary was more than happy to be pleased with everything he already had to offer, without changing anything save the arrangement of some items. Happy, economical and practical all together; what could be better?

Mary will soon be able to look up from her writing and speak to Christopher whenever she wishes. She will not have to wait for a visit, or wonder whether somebody else will come into the room and take him away. I cannot help but envy her, though I am truly happy for her too.

This morning she was rather quiet at breakfast. Christopher was to leave soon afterwards, and although they will see each other again before the wedding, I could understand her reluctance to let him go.

Kitty began to ask whether he had settled upon his costume for the masquerade.

“Not entirely,” he admitted.

“Then you must do so. There will be no time to make anything if you leave it until you arrive.”

Mary came to his rescue by saying that she would remind him in her letter. Kitty accepted this assurance with some reluctance. She is determined to make all of us quite magnificent.

He took leave of us all very kindly. When he came to Mary, Elizabeth found something to say to Darcy, and Kitty suddenly required Georgiana and me to come in with her and give our opinions on her latest drawings.

Mary remained outside until Christopher’s carriage had gone from sight. Then she came in and put away the paper upon which she had written his commissions. None of us commented on the tears she discreetly blotted away before sitting down with us.

We sat together for part of the afternoon. Mary worked upon some new handkerchiefs on which she was embroidering Christopher’s initials as a gift for him, while I attempted to choose my favourite picture in Mr Thurston’s Shakespeare.

Presently Mary asked whether I thought it would be foolish to begin her letter already.

“Not at all.”

“It cannot be sent yet. He will not be home to receive it.”

“Well, he will be at home by the time the letter catches up with him, will he not? At least if you do not send it until tomorrow, which you will surely not; you have the whole evening then to write it.”