Page 47 of The Secret Diary of Anne de Bourgh

I had not intended to speak aloud. My hands were clasped so tightly in my lap that the fingers had begun to ache. “She could be very agreeable to visitors. Everybody thought she was so attentive to me.”

Richard sat down beside me. “We know, Anne.”

I looked at the letter lying upon Darcy’s desk. “Does James know what she did?” I asked.

“I do not know precisely what has passed between him and my father in their correspondence,” Richard said. “But he must know that these arrangements were not made upon a whim.”

“Perhaps she has persuaded him that there has been some mistake.”

“Then he should ask questions before making demands!”

Darcy glanced at him, and Richard pressed his lips together.

“I shall write to your father,” Darcy said. “We must know exactly what James has been told, and what he is now proposing.”

“Father has already refused to alter anything upon his recommendation.”

“Good. But we should understand what occasioned it.”

I could understand that well enough. Lady Catherine would have told James that she had been wronged, that those who ought to respect her had conspired against her, and that she had only ever intended what was best for everybody. I had heard her say such things often, over matters far less serious than this.

James had evidently believed her.

I remembered how kindly I had thought of him when Richard read out the letter offering him a place at his side. Richard had not seemed grateful then, either.

“Are you afraid he will bring her away?” I asked.

Richard’s face softened as he looked at me.

“Not upon the strength of this letter. My father remains quite firm, and James has no authority to change the arrangements.”

I wished I could feel as certain as he sounded. James is a viscount, the son of an earl, and he has resources and authority that most men would hesitate to challenge. If he brought a carriage to the door and said that Lady Catherine was going with him, who would gainsay him?

They continued to discuss the matter, and I remained with them. Nobody suggested that the conversation ought not to trouble me, and I need not concern myself. When Darcy had finished with the letter, he asked whether I wished to read it myself.

I said that I did.

My uncle’s anger was plain enough upon the page. He had not been persuaded by James, and I was grateful for every impatient word.

In all of this, I quite forgot to ask Richard what he thinks of Mr Byerly, but it no longer seems important as my old fears begin to reawaken.

I wish James had remained upon his own estate.

25 July

Richard has gone back to Matlock.

He wished to consult my uncle regarding James’ interference with Lady Catherine’s situation, of course, but I had hoped this might be accomplished by letter. Darcy had already written, and it seemed to me that another letter could be sent quite as easily as a carriage could be ordered.

Richard did not agree.

“There are several things I must discuss with my father, Annie. We shall settle them more readily together.”

“And then will you come back?”

“As soon as I can.”

I should have preferred a day, or even a week, to be named. As soon as I can might mean almost anything.