Page 26 of The Secret Diary of Anne de Bourgh

I had never heard Mary raise her voice. Mrs Bennet fell silent, while Kitty began to cry and Mary put her arms around her. Georgiana and I sat still, uncertain where to look.

“Well,” Mrs Bennet said at last, but whatever else she might have added was cut off by Lizzy rising to her feet.

“There will be no question of making a choice between Mary’s trousseau or Kitty’s season, Mama,” she said. “Kitty is joining my household in London and will be treated as an equal to Georgiana and Anne.” Moving around the couch where Kitty and Mary held each other close, Lizzy bent down to place a hand on Kitty’s shoulder. “Kitty will be no burden on the Bennet household, I promise you. Focus your attention on Mary’s wedding. You will, after all, not be present for Kitty’s season.”

Mrs Bennet blinked at that. “But of course, I will attend some events,” she argued.

“Will you?” Lizzy tilted her head, a tight little smile on her lips. “To which events have you been invited?”

Jane drew in a breath. Mrs Bennet looked from one face to another, her cheeks colouring.

“Well, I never! It seems your husband’s high-and-mighty ways are rubbing off on you, Mrs Darcy, if you think yourself too good to socialise with your own mother!” Mrs Bennet looked round for support, but Georgiana’s expression had grown so severe that she turned away from us both.

Mrs Bennet muttered to herself. Jane asked her advice on a household matter and drew her out of the room, giving Mary and Kitty a little peace.

I had sometimes envied the Bennet girls their mother. I even imagined that, had Lady Catherine been my mother in truth, she might have treated me kindly. Yet Mrs Bennet plainly loves Mary and Kitty, and I had just watched her wound them both. I looked at Mary holding her sister, and could no longer suppose that blood alone would have made Lady Catherine gentle.

I went to them. “I have not yet congratulated you, Mary.” She rose and accepted my embrace with a shaky smile. “I am very happy for you. You and the doctor suit each other wonderfully.”

“I never expected to marry at all,” Mary said. “Or I thought I should marry someone who wanted a helpmate, rather than me. Christopher sees the real me.”

“And loves you for it.” I kissed her cheek. “I should like to give you a new gown from my favourite modiste as a wedding gift.”

“Oh, Anne, that would be so kind, but really, I don’t need...”

“Yes, you do!” Elizabeth and Kitty chorused together, cutting Mary off mid-protest.

She looked a little startled, and then laughed. “I see you are bound and determined to make me over!”

“Indeed we are. I shall give you a new gown too, and a few other things besides,” Elizabeth said. “If you will let me, I shall speak to Papa about entrusting your trousseau allowance to me. Then you may choose gowns you will actually wish to wear.”

“Yes, please,” Mary said, and we spent some time discussing what she wanted. She had more to say for herself than I think she would have had a few months ago.

I wondered whether I shall ever look forward to a wedding as Mary does. There are moments when I almost dare to hope Richard sees me as more than a child; then I remember how easily he calls me his dear Annie. I cannot imagine marrying anyone else, yet I do not wish to close the door on marriage altogether. Perhaps London would let me meet someone I could esteem, even if I cannot welcome the thought of a season just now.

6 June

My uncle returned from London today, after several days there on business. He wants to take Richard home to Matlock to recover. I understand it; he has been anxious about his son since learning of his injury. All the same, I hoped Doctor Spears would forbid the journey a while longer.

He did not. Richard has improved while I have been shut in with my cold, though he still tires and must use his cane.

“Another week, if the colonel continues to improve, and he may travel to Derbyshire,” Doctor Spears said. “You must go in easy stages. My house near Leicester has lately been vacated by its tenants, and I intend to inspect it before Mary and I take up residence there. I should be honoured to receive you for a few days to break the journey.”

My uncle welcomed the offer, then asked Darcy whether he meant to return to Pemberley at the same time. Darcy said he must speak to Elizabeth first. I know he wishes to go home, and he has much to arrange at Pemberley before they spend the autumn and winter in London.

Elizabeth agreed they should return. To my surprise, she offered Georgiana and me the choice of staying longer at Netherfield. I should like to be near Mary and Kitty, and Jane and Bingley would welcome us. Yet I should be farther from Richard. If we travel north with him, I may at least see him at Matlock or when he visits Pemberley. Georgiana seemed tempted to stay; I waited to hear what she would choose.

Then Georgiana remembered all that must be done for her birthday ball and said she wished to go home. Mary and Kitty will come with us. Mary wants Mrs Reynolds’s advice about her future stillroom, and Kitty has our costumes to consider. Jane and Bingley will remain at Netherfield for the summer. Jane has promised to write often, and Lizzy says we shall stop here again on our way to London in October. I was glad of Georgiana’s choice.

After luncheon I fled the morning-room when Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst came in, and went for a walk. Lizzy has made it plain that our party for Pemberley is large enough. Bingley’s sisters are to visit an aunt in Bath while he and Jane remain at Netherfield, so our days together are nearly at an end.

Walking in the avenue, I was enjoying the warm sunshine when a voice called my name. I turned and smiled to see Richard approaching, smiling broadly.

“Anne! What are you doing out here?”

“Taking the air.” I lowered my voice. “And escaping unwanted company.”

“For a large house, it can feel small at times, can it not?” Richard leaned on the cane in his left hand, though less heavily than when I last walked with him. He offered me his right arm. I glanced at the injured hand and shook my head.