Page 24 of The Secret Diary of Anne de Bourgh

“Past time she was introduced to society, Richard,” Uncle said. “And though Georgiana is not yet seventeen, it would be good for her to spend time with other young ladies who are not quite out. I understand she is close to some of Mrs Darcy’s younger sisters. Perhaps they might accompany you both, Anne?” He turned to me. I had heard nothing of a London introduction until this moment.

“I have never given it a thought, Uncle,” I admitted.

“Then it’s time you did. You’re not going to find a suitable husband rusticating in Derbyshire or here in Hertfordshire, now are you?”

I was so astonished I merely gaped. Richard leaped into the breach.

“Give Anne time, Father,” Richard said. “She need be in no rush to marry. She is still regaining her health and enjoying her first taste of freedom. Let her enjoy it before finding her a husband, I beg you.”

“Well, well,” Uncle huffed, before looking down the table at Darcy. “Seems ridiculous not to take advantage of the situation. Darcy plans to spend the autumn in Town with Mrs Darcy, I understand, and Anne will be with them anyway. Why not introduce her properly to society?”

Richard paused. Darcy intended to spend the autumn and winter in London so that Elizabeth could have good medical care when her child was born around Christmastime. I could hardly expect them to escort me to balls while preparing for the birth.

Apparently, though, my uncle had not yet been informed of Elizabeth’s condition, and Richard did not think the topic suitable for the dinner table.

“Come, Darcy,” Uncle said. “You must agree with me, Anne cannot hide away in the country forever. She is a considerable heiress, after all, and now Catherine’s machinations are done away with, it is time for Anne to take her rightful place in society. She must be presented at Court when the opportunity offers, along with Mrs Darcy, of course.”

I looked to Darcy, hoping he would disagree. My uncle is the senior member of the family, however, and Darcy would need a good reason to contradict him.

“Mrs Darcy and I will consult with you later, sir, on the best time for us to remove to London with Anne,” Darcy said at last. I set down my fork, no longer hungry.

A few short months ago, being presented to the queen was as fantastical a dream as escaping Rosings. Now, it was something I had no desire for in the slightest.

Richard watched me with a furrowed brow. I tried to smile at him, but my uncle’s plans had awakened the part of me that used to rebel, however quietly, against Lady Catherine’s orders.

Why must Darcy and my uncle decide where I shall live and whom I shall meet? They speak often enough of my wealth. Could I not have a household of my own, and choose how to spend my days?

My pen is digging into the paper, I am so frustrated and angry. I should stop writing and excuse myself, go to my room and try to sleep, but I do not think sleep will soon find me tonight.

Miss Bingley has twice passed behind my chair and invited me to walk with her, leaning close enough to look at this page. Lady Catherine despised my small, cramped writing and made me dictate my letters to Mrs Jenkinson. For years I wrote freely only here. I will not let Miss Bingley read it, nor will I walk about the room merely to draw the gentlemen’s eyes.

Richard is watching the pianoforte, where Georgiana plays and Elizabeth sings. They seem to take pleasure in each other’s music. Mrs Hurst played earlier with such careful attention to the notes that I wished she would miss one, if only to surprise us both.

Is it too late for me to learn to play? Perhaps I might sing while Georgiana accompanies me, if she will give me a few lessons when we are alone. I do not even know whether I can carry a tune, and I would rather discover that in her company than Miss Bingley’s.

Fortunately, I am not the hostess at Netherfield, and thus need not wait until my guests are all ready to retire. Instead, I can simply gather up my diary and declare my intention of retiring early.

Richard alone rose when I took my leave, though standing plainly pained him. He met me by the door.

“Are you feeling quite well, Annie?” he asked quietly, blue eyes intent on my face.

“I am merely a little tired, cousin, I thank you.” I leaned nearer and whispered, “Tired of the sound of Miss Bingley’s voice, to tell the truth.”

He laughed and kissed my cheek. “Rest your ears then, dear one. I shall see you tomorrow, and if the weather is fine I hope you will walk with me in the gardens.”

I could think of nothing I would enjoy more, and said so honestly before bidding him good night.

4 June

Our walk never came to pass. The next morning I woke with a sore throat and an aching head. My maid fetched Elizabeth, who sent for Doctor Jones; Doctor Spears was away in London when I took ill. Doctor Jones pronounced it a head cold and ordered me to bed. I have been there for four days, feeling sorry for myself.

Today he has allowed me to sit by the fire, and Kitty has come to keep me company. Talking still hurts my throat, so I was glad to let her give me the Meryton news. Her friend Maria Lucas, Charlotte’s sister, has found a beau in a clerk employed by Mr Phillips, the Bennets’ uncle.

I tried to listen, but after so many days in this room I could scarcely attend to anything. Georgiana and the Bennet sisters have taken turns keeping me company, and between them have spared me visits from Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst.

I ought to be grateful, and I am. I am also bored. Now that I may go where I please, confinement vexes me more than it once did.

“... so we will all dance together on Wednesday!” Kitty finished a sentence, and I blinked.