Page 19 of The Secret Diary of Anne de Bourgh

“And I you, miss,” he said, bowing.

“I heard you were wounded, Mr Sanderson?”

“’Tis nothing, miss,” he said, dismissing it with a shake of his head. “I am fully recovered, glad to be serving the Colonel again.”

“Well, with you to take care of him, I have no doubt of his speedy and complete recovery. I well remember how resourceful you were at Rosings when seeing to my care.”

He ducked his head and excused himself.

There were several letters upon the little table beside Richard’s chair, and when Sanderson had gone he took up one of them with his left hand. He had barely read a few lines before his smile disappeared.

“Is it bad news?” I asked anxiously.

“From James.” He looked again at the letter, his mouth tightening. “He has heard about my hand.”

“Oh, I am glad he has written. He must have been so concerned.”

“Indeed. Shall I tell you what he says?” He smoothed the paper against his knee and began to read.

“My dear Richard, Father’s account of your injuries grieved me exceedingly. It is a sad end to your military ambitions, and I fear you must now reconcile yourself to a quieter existence. An advantageous marriage can scarcely be expected in your altered circumstances, but you will always have a place at my side, little brother. When the management of Matlock falls to me, there will be ample occupation for you. A home among your own family, with no expenses to concern you, will be far more comfortable than struggling to maintain an establishment of your own.”

Richard stopped reading. I could see that there was more upon the page, but he folded it carefully and laid it face down upon the table.

I thought James quite wrong about the marriage. Any woman who refused Richard merely because he had lost two fingers would be a fool, and I should have liked to tell his brother so. But I could hardly say it to Richard without blushing, and the rest of the letter seemed kindly meant. If he could no longer be a soldier, surely it must be comforting to know that his family had thought of a place for him?

“It is kind of him to want you with him,” I ventured. “And to make sure you will have everything you need.”

“A place at his side,” Richard repeated. “How very generous of him.”

His tone startled me. I glanced from his face to the folded letter, wondering what I had missed.

“I thought you would be pleased.”

For a moment he said nothing. Then he looked at me, and his expression softened. “Forgive me, Annie. I am not very good company this morning.”

I told him I was glad to be there. He asked me about Pemberley, and I let James’s letter rest on the table between us.

I sat with Richard until luncheon, when Darcy came in and told me that the other ladies were expecting me. Reluctant to leave, I could see that Richard looked weary. We had been talking all morning; he had demanded to know everything I had been doing since we had last met, and I told him all about life at Pemberley and how I had made close friends with Kitty, Mary, dear Lizzy and of course Georgiana. He said how glad he was that I had friends at last.

“You must eat and rest.” I stood and bent to place a sisterly kiss on his cheek, a little shocked at my own daring.

Richard blinked at me, startled. “Come back and see me again later,” he requested.

“You can come out and visit with company after dinner,” Darcy decreed, “you shall see Anne again then, and all the others are eager to talk with you as well.”

25 May

Yesterday afternoon seemed long, although Bingley’s sisters were away shopping in Hatfield. Jane showed us the grounds she and Mr Bingley are improving. Between the house and stables they have made a little garden of flowers and herbs, and the bees were busy there among the blooms.

I should like a garden of my own one day. If I said so aloud, everyone but Richard would remind me of the gardens at Rosings. Lady Catherine kept them trimmed to her exact orders; a gardener would remove any leaf that ventured out of place.

I want something smaller and less orderly: flowers of several colours, herbs I could gather myself, and vegetables grown where anyone could see them, rather than hidden behind the kitchen as though they were shameful.

Jane is proud of the garden. She has brought cuttings from Longbourn, and tends them herself alongside the gardeners.

Perhaps, one day, I will beg some cuttings from Jane for my own garden.

Richard came out of his rooms for only a short while after dinner. Caroline Bingley attached herself to him so closely that I barely spoke to him, even when Jane tried to draw her away.