Page 38 of Jealous Guy

“You’re about to be super wrong about this, O,” I say, licking the back of my hand and sprinkling a pinch of salt on it. I wait until Orion does the same before raising my glass to his, licking the salt, throwing the tequila back, and biting into a wedge of orange.

To be honest, it doesn’t hit quite like lemon or lime does, and now that I think of it, I’m not sure how long we’ve had that orange. Feels like a while since we bought oranges, and the bite I just took has a funny aftertaste.

I knock Orion’s wedge out of his hand before he bites into it. “It was delicious, but I don’t think you’ll like it,” I tell him.

He scoffs and knocks his drink back, holding his glass out for another shot. Neither of us drains our glasses the second time. We hold them in our hands and sip gingerly. Orion spends a while turning his glass around slowly, eyeing it as though it’s one of the most interesting things he’s ever seen.

“So, what do you want to know?” he asks again.

I mean to tell him that I want to know everything about him again, but instead I blurt, “Are you seeing anyone?”

“No, I’m not.”

“Are you…? Are you, like, hooking up?”

He looks at his glass, and I can almost hear the cogs of his mind turning. He wants to tell me, but he’s worried about how I’ll react. I put my hand on his shoulder and apply pressure to let him know I’m done being an asshole.

He throws the rest of his tequila back, puts his glass down, and shrugs. “I mean, yeah, of course I hook up. I go on the apps when I’m horny like anyone else, and there’s a park I go to sometimes—”

“A park!” I exclaim. I quickly correct, lowering my voice considerably. “What kind of park?”

“The kind where guys go to cruise, dipshit.”

I sit back in my seat as I digest that, though I make sure to keep my hand firmly on his shoulder so he doesn’t notice how much I’m struggling to process the information.

Orion cruising. My Orion cruising. My Orion going to a dark, deserted park in the middle of the night without me—

“Mm…” I bob my head supportively. “Sounds like fun.”

He dips his chin and runs his fingers through his hair, something he usually does when he’s uncomfortable. “It is what it is.”

“Do you, like…” I’m speaking a little faster than I’m thinking, and I feel like the conversation has gotten a little ahead of itself, so I think it might be best if I slow things down a notch. We’ve missed several stages, and I think it’s important to get back to basics. “Kiss guys?”

Orion’s top lip flares as he gives me an incredulous side-eye. “No, bud, I don’t kiss guys I’m hooking up with. That’s not really how it works at the park.”

“I don’t mean at the park,” I explain, though honestly, I’m not sure what I do mean. “I mean, when did you have your first kiss with a guy?”

There. Nice. That’s a lovely, neutral kind of question that’s exactly the sort of thing my sisters would ask in a situation like this. Perfect.

“During senior year.”

Senior year? Senior year? That’s more than two freaking years ago, and this is the first I’m hearing of it.

How the hell am I supposed to be cool with this?

I can tell Orion is fighting a heavy eye roll at my inane line of questioning. He knows me well enough to know I’m nowhere near done with this first-kiss business, so he tacks on, “He was my mom’s friend’s kid. Cayden. They were staying at our house for a couple of days over spring break. He was gay and out. We kissed once the night before he left and that was it.”

Urgh. I think that orange wedge is repeating on me.

“How was it?” I ask supportively.

He leans against the backrest of the sofa and smiles as if he’s calling up a fond memory.

Yeah, there’s no way that orange was okay. I don’t feel good at all.

“You know those kinds of kisses where the other person doesn’t open their mouth wide enough.” I nod politely and supportively. “Well, it was like that, except every now and then, he’d open his mouth really wide and push his tongue way too far into my mouth.”

I’m not happy because Orion had a bad first kiss. It’s not that. The way he tells the story is funny, that’s all.