Page 5 of Nyx

I glare at her, but we've had enough meetings to know that my sneer isn't going to pull the smile from her face.

The woman has too much to be happy about.

Dr. Brynn Aroca, Cerberus member and club psychologist, is happily married to another Cerberus member, and they recently celebrated the birth of their first child, a son they proudly named Joshua, after his father.

She has every reason to smile, and I have no reason to hate that she's smiling, except for the fact that she's smiling at me.

"Everyone around here is too happy," I mutter, keeping my eyes on hers because pulling them away would feel like a failure, like I've conceded in some way.

I know being rude and insolent won't get me kicked out of Cerberus, but not taking part and refusing their therapy requirement would have me out the front door quicker than anything else.

"They're just happy people," she says with an innocent shrug.

"There's too much evil in the world to be happy," I respond.

"Not everyone has faced what you had to face."

"The men and women in Cerberus have seen the evils in the world," I argue.

"I can't speak for others, but I've compartmentalized my personal and private lives."

It feels like a jab, as if I've somehow failed at keeping everything separate, but I know better than to think this woman would do something like that.

"Many, unlike you, haven't had much of a crossover," she clarifies. "They haven't looked into the evil eye of someone from whom they got their DNA."

I clear my throat, shifting my weight on the sofa in her office.

"Shared DNA," I mutter with a huff of exasperation.

"Is that a concern of yours?" she asks. "Are you worried that evil men make evil sons?"

I could lie, but the whole point of this shit is to make changes, and I vowed to give it a hundred percent when Cerberus gave me the option to either come here and work out my shit or hit the road.

"It already happened, didn't it?"

"Do you consider yourself evil?"

"Would I be sitting on this couch if I wasn't?"

She tilts her head to the side slightly, but I don't get the feeling that she believes I’m evil.

"How many people have you hurt that hadn't hurt someone else first?"

"None," I answer quickly because it's the truth.

"Why did you hurt those people?"

"Because monsters don't stop until you stop them."

"Not because of vengeance, or seeking retribution?"

I shake my head. "It has nothing to do with revenge."

"That's not evil," she says. "In your mind, if you don't stop them, then they will continue to hurt other people."

"They will," I argue.

"We need to get you to a point where you trust in a system that will also make sure they can't hurt others again."