Page 220 of Nyx

"Why?" she asks, and although I can feel her shift her gaze to me, I keep my eyes locked on the road.

"You deserve to be protected."

"Every woman does," she clarifies.

"They do."

"I'm one of many," she says. "One of too many."

"We're trying to change that," I say, my grip tightening on the steering wheel.

The idea that with every person we help, hundreds don't get that protection has always been a consideration when I choose to remove an abuser from the earth.

She shouldn't be here, wondering not if Whitmore is going to come after her again, but when he'll get his next chance.

She should be free and feel lighter. Her monster should be gone forever.

By protecting me, she chose to continue to live with that fear, and as much as it means to me to be put first, I'd gladly rot in prison for the rest of my life for her to not have to worry if she's safe for the rest of hers.

"I would've killed him," I confess.

"I know," she whispers.

I don't feel a sense of relief when she pulls her eyes from the side of my face.

"I believe that Kincaid believes he'll no longer be a problem," she says, her voice sounding more distant than it should with her sitting so close. "But I know his family. They'll do everything in their power to get him free."

"They can try," I mutter, my hands once again squeezing the steering wheel tight.

Scenarios run through my head—the idea of him walking out of jail and me waiting around the corner to end him, leading the pack.

Maybe they should let him out just so he can finally be gone from her long list of worries.

"He committed murder on camera. I don't imagine there's much the family can do to twist that in a way that would lead to his freedom," I explain. "Kincaid will do everything in his power, call in all the favors he's built over the years to make sure that man is never released."

"I'd never expect him to make a sacrifice like that for me," she whispers.

I pull my foot off the accelerator and ease the brake as I pull to the side of the road.

It takes her a long moment before she turns her attention back to me, but I wait her out.

"These things don't come from expectation," I explain once her eyes meet mine. "Protecting you, protecting women and children in general, is our job. We do it without question and without regard to our own safety."

She frowns, and I know the words landed differently than I intended for them to.

I open my mouth to explain that she's more than a job to me, but those words feel like pressure, as if I expect her to respond a certain way to my actions tonight, something she clearly views as a sacrifice. I don't want her to respond in a way she thinks she should because of my own actions, so I keep my mouth shut.

"You're worth protecting," I say instead as I turn my focus back to the road and begin driving again.

"Thank you," she whispers. "For everything."

There's a finality in her tone that makes the words feel like a goodbye.

I slow to a crawl as I approach the Cerberus gate, but the man inside simply opens it so I can drive through.

I know he's been instructed to prevent delays in getting her back into the clubhouse, and that also means someone else will be waiting to inspect the vehicle after we get out, just to ensure it's safe to remain on the property.

Chapter 54