Page 135 of Zeus

My mind drifts as I pull off my boots and settle on the bed.

I should be thinking about what my next job could be, getting my head right so I don't fuck that one up too, but of course, that's not how shit ever works for me.

Zayne fucking Harmond is front and fucking center in my mind. His injuries, the way I thought he would die, the whispered prayers to a God I don't know that I ever fully believed in.

All of it plays back like a movie reel in my mind.

The mistakes I made that put him in harm's way.

The way I would've gladly traded places with him so he wouldn't have had to suffer what he went through.

Zeus, King of the gods...

I force myself to believe that it’s some sort of savior complex that makes me want to switch places with him, but as I drift off to sleep, I find it more than a little difficult to keep lying to myself.

Chapter 41

Zayne

The last time I stood on these steps, I was humiliated.

That lingering sense of hatred still coats this house as it did all those years ago, despite both owners now being gone.

Just like last time, I'm an uninvited visitor.

I waited for what felt like forever for Zeus to come look for me after his meeting with Kincaid, something I knew he'd do if only out of that guilt he seemed to feel about my situation.

When he never came to my room, the desperation to know what they wanted from him ate at me until I went looking for him. I hated the feeling of being left out, of being excluded from a situation I felt I had the right to stay involved in.

But I have found that moving around actually helps ease the pain more than sitting still.

I limped and moaned my way back to the other house and went straight to the conference room.

Everyone had cleared out, and the sun was already setting, but Casper was at his computer.

He didn't hesitate to tell me then what was going on, how Zeus's mother had passed away, and about the algorithm that had flagged it just that morning.

Casper didn't bat an eye in making the arrangements I requested, knowing I had to go back home. He didn't question why I wanted to be there with him, but he did mention the audio in the house in passing.

It felt like a confession for him, something that, now that he knows what happened there between the two of us, feels like an encroachment on our privacy.

He confirmed that Zeus now knew about those listening devices, and the fact that he never found me before he left makes the lifting of my hand even more hesitant than the memories.

What we shared back then, but more importantly what we shared more recently, makes me drop my hand, but only as low as the doorknob.

I turn it instead of knocking, stepping inside a place I've never been. The only view I've had was from the front porch. The Harmonds were never invited to a single one of the many dinner parties that happened here, and we wouldn't have risked the ridicule of showing up without an invitation. There's nothing worse in society than doing something like that.

Stale air hits me in the face, making it clear that no one has been here for a while.

Silence swarms around me, making me wonder if his parents were still alive, how active the house would be. They were very much "be seen not heard" with Zeus, so I imagine they'd expect the same from their staff.

I walk from room to room, more concerned with finding him than exploring a place I know the owners would roll over in their graves to know I was inside.

The ground level gives me nothing tangible, only the realization that these people had more money than I realized. The walls are covered with expensive paintings, and pretentious gold gallery lights hang above each one. The surface of every table holds at least one heirloom, positioned to highlight just how much money they spent on the things in their lives.

A light coat of dust has settled over everything it could reach, and that makes me feel a little better. I don't wish for pain and suffering for people. I just don't let my head get in that place. Even the degenerates I've worked my life to take down and put in prison don't get much of a second thought.

I'm there to do a job, and that involves making sure they're prosecuted and sent to lockup so they can't continue to spew hate and hurt people. Past that, I don't let them get inside my head.