Page 27 of Rivals and Liars

Kate stares at her.

"She told you about Leire?" she asks, eyes wide.

"She didn't tell me her name, but yes—she mentioned there's a woman who has you pretty torn up. She also told me to tell you she's a snitch."

Kate bursts out laughing. It doesn't surprise her at all that Diane couldn't care less about being caught.

"I'm sorry for being so blunt—but if this woman affects you this much, it's important for me to know. Because in moments like this we need our people close, and your girl isn't here."

"She's not my girl," Kate snaps, and Rachel goes quiet, waiting. "Is what we talk about confidential?"

Rachel smiles as she nods.

"Yes. I signed an agreement with your attorney—but even if I hadn't, I promise you can trust me."

The redhead is still stunned, and she starts wondering how long her coach has been planning this—but decides she doesn't care. She feels surprisingly at ease talking to Rachel Collins. She's also figured out that it's easier to open up to a stranger. With her she can talk without holding back, let everything she keeps buried so she won't worry the people she loves most come to the surface in front of this woman who's only here to listen and will leave afterward and forget all about her.

"What did Diane tell you?"

"Just enough—that you two have a relationship that went from sexual to something more intense, and that you live in secret, in stolen moments, because she's not ready to come out of the closet."

"I have to respect that. No one can force another person to come out before they're ready," Kate says, "but lately it feels like nothing is ever enough. What used to be enough leaves me hollow now—this empty ache in my chest all the time."

"How long have you two been like this?" Rachel has turned toward her.

"Three years."

"I was married when my injury happened." Kate's surprised eyes lift. "I married my high school girlfriend two years before—she was the only woman I'd ever been with—and she left me when I turned bitter. Said I was unbearable, that living with me was impossible. At the time I thought she was right. I had become a nightmare who complained about everything. But later I understood it was just an excuse—she ran the moment I needed her most. I'm telling you this because it makes sense that you need Leire and feel like nothing fills the gap. You need her here, not thousands of miles away. I'm not one to pressure anyone into doing something they're not ready for either—but that's not really the question. The question is how much you're willing to keep taking."

"I don't follow."

"What she needs is one thing, and what you need is another, Kate—and I don't think you've been factoring in your side of it. You've reshaped your life around the condition of hiding, settling for whatever scraps that leaves you. A relationship isn't about settling. It's about sharing—being on the same page, wanting the same things or close to it."

"I'm still lost..." she whispers, even though she understands perfectly.

"All I'm saying is that you need to know where your limit is—how much you can take before it hollows you out. You're settling for so little, and you know damn well you deserve so much more. If Leire isn't ready to move forward with you, maybe you need to think about moving forward on your own. I know that's easy to say. But your career is at a critical point and you need to be at a hundred percent mentally to face what's coming."

"I already have." Kate's voice comes out so low that Rachel has to lean in to hear her.

"What?"

"I've already made a decision. Leire just doesn't know it yet," she admits in the same quiet voice, looking down at her palms.

"What decision?"

"I'm going to talk to her. And if things don't change between us—even a little—when I retire, it'll be over between us too."

Kate's face is wet with tears by the time she finishes speaking, and Rachel holds back the impulse to hold her, because they're not there yet.

Chapter 14

"Here we finally are — sign right there and it'll be official," Isaac said, sliding the Costel contract across the table until it sat in front of Leire.

She went still, staring at it as if putting her signature there meant accepting her own death sentence. A chill ran down her spine and she felt her throat tighten.

"Come on, honey, it's just a formality," her father coaxed. He'd traveled to Toronto with them.

"A fourteen-million-euro formality," Isaac added, beaming, and Bruno Cobos broke into helpless laughter.