Page 137 of The Tryout

His eyes narrow.

“I thought you were gonna ask me about my wife.”

I take a deep breath, deciding to push for the first time in our friendship.

“I think…I think it is about your wife. Why aren’t you still in the NHL?”

He stares at me, and for a moment I think he’s going to walk right back out. Instead, he lifts his hand, getting the attention of the bartender.

“Ron, can my buddy and I get a couple of Jacks?”

Within a minute, the amber liquid appears in front of us, though Novak’s glass is noticeably cleaner than my own.

“When I met Elena, she was a travel nurse. Picking up contracts all over, saving up money to go to medical school. She never intended to stay on the East Coast, always wanted to come back to her family eventually.”

He takes a sip and I stay still, not wanting to disrupt his thoughts.

“But the League was good to me, good to us, really, so we stayed. Move from Boston to New York, then on to Philly. We had the twins, which seemed to keep her busy. And she’d talk about how she wanted to go back, at least to nursing, but it seemed…I mean, we could afford a nanny, but it would cost as much as she’d be earning, you know? Plus, every time we’d move, we’d have to hire a new one.”

He looks off in the distance, his leg shaking under the table.

“Anyway, eventually I was just a little too old and a little too slow for Philly, so they decided not to renew my contract. But I was sure I had more in me, so I had my agent start shopping around for a new contract, and sure enough, Tampa was willing. I texted Elena, told her to start packing.”

I find myself holding my breath, not sure I’ll like the next part.

“And she did. By the time I got home, she and the girls were gone.”

Even though I know this story has a happy ending, I find my heart breaking for him. Novak takes a sip of his whiskey, and then another.

“With this job, sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in it all. In the wins and losses and stats. And before you know it, you’re living with two toddlers you don’t know and a wife who feels like her happiness always comes second.”

I’d like to tell myself that it’s different for Finn and I. That because we both play, it will be okay. But as his days in Minneapolis stretch onward, as we struggle to find the time for phone calls and visits, I’m pretty sure that’s a lie.

“So you…followed her?”

He nods.

“But not right away. Not completely. Waited for the season to end, still made sure I could play here. And it…it almost cost me my marriage.”

I don’t press for more, not sure I want to hear it even if he wants to share it.

“Do you ever regret it? Leaving the NHL, I mean?”

He tosses back the rest of his whiskey in one go.

“The only thing I regret is not doing it sooner. That, and not retiring completely. I don’t know why I dragged it out, why I insisted on playing here. Maybe I was afraid of what life would look like without hockey. Now? I know it’ll be just fine.”

I hear what he’s not saying.

“You retiring, Novak?”

He nods, looking at me for a long moment before asking the question that’s been floating through my mind for the last few hours.

“Are you?”

Back at the apartment, I head to my bedroom, pulling a business card out of the sock drawer where I had stashed it.

I’ve really got to get a desk.