Page 124 of The Tryout

He takes a deep breath and looks at me.

“I guess…I just don’t want you to feel stuck with me, because I was the…first. I want you to find what you want, what you deserve, even if…”

He trails off, the end of his sentence lost.

I back away, going to sit on the edge of the bed. I take a breath, then another. I know I owe Avery some vulnerability here, probably more than I’ve ever given anyone else.

“When we started this…thing, I told you that I’d never really had the time to figure this stuff out, right? That between Mom and Nana and all the rest of it, sex had just been the last thing on my mind.”

I look at him and wonder if he’s also thinking of that day this all started, back in our apartment in Des Moines. He nods slightly.

“That…wasn’t the whole truth. The reality is I’d never really found myself…attracted to someone like that before. And part of that was definitely the family stuff. But also, I think I’m…just not like you? I don’t see some rich guy at a bar and want to jump into bed with him.”

He looks at me, a little hopeful.

“No?”

“No. But you wishing me a happy birthday? Or teaching me about Vietnamese food? Or making sure I didn’t charge you ridiculously low rent? That meant something to me, Avery.”

He walks over to the bed, sitting next to me.

“It meant something to me too, Finn. It meant…it meant everything to me.”

“You say stuck like it’s a bad thing. But Avery, I’ve gotta say – there haven’t been a whole lot of people who’ve stuck in my life, who’ve stuck next to me. And I can’t think of anyone I’d want that with more than you.”

“Finn, I…I think I might have been very stupid.”

I doubt it; from the first day I met him, stupid hasn’t been a word I’d ever use to describe Avery. Oblivious? Absolutely.

But never stupid.

He takes a deep breath, then speaks.

“Finn, I want you to be my boyfriend. I want to tell Jamie and Ethan and my dads. It’s okay if you…we don’t have to tell the world. ”

My eyes widen with shock, and he misreads it.

“But if you’re not ready for that, I get it. But can we date? Until you are?”

“Avery, I’d love to be your boyfriend.”

Dizzy at his words, I grab his face, pulling him back to me. His hands slip under my shirt, his fingers leaving hot trails on my skin. As they wrap around to my back, he pulls me on top of him. Straddling his lap, my dick pressed up against his, my mouth finding his again.

“Will you–”

Avery cuts off, a look of uncertainty on his face.

“Anything, Ave. What do you want?”

“I…I need you inside me, baby. Is that…is that okay?”

Fuck, yes.

Me inside him or him inside me, whatever it takes to get closer to him. I decide to ask for something of my own, since we seem to be in an asking mood tonight.

“Is it okay if we skip the condom this time?”

Honestly, I’m not sure what I’ll do if he says no, since I don’t have any here. Maybe he brought some?