Page 6 of Gaze

“Is that for me?” I tilt my head to see if I can make out a name on the label, I can't. But the question at least snaps Steve out of his thoughts and onto the real reason he is here.

“Yes, came for you early this morning.” He walked towards me and pressed the box to my hand. The stiff card of the box feels earthy in my hands after the plastic of the camera, I don't like it.

I rip the box open without much care. Once the packing peanuts have fallen away, I see the clear plastic of a CD case poking out the corner. My mind struggled and shuddered for a second, I don't remember ordering a CD - I wouldn’t even know how to order one?

And then I remember, Bite, they said they would send it to me, I just never expected them to actually do it. I don't remember Steve leaving, when I look up from my parcel he is gone. I don't much care, I struggle to jump up from my chair and make my way to the computer.

chapter

seven

L3NS_72: Thank you for the CD

I type into the chatroom once everything is loaded, the computer fan is already kicking in to try and combat the sweltering heat of the apartment. I can hear it spinning deep inside the transparent blue and white case.

I_BiT3: Your welcome

I_BiT3: Have you listened to it yet?

L3NS_72: No, I am putting it on now.

I struggle with the cellophane wrapping around the hard plastic, my nails are short and I can't get a grip. Eventually I get into it, pulling it apart like a wild dog after a kill. I press the CD rom drive and listen to the gears turn, slowly it opens and I press the disk inside and close it again.

I_BiT3: I'm waiting

L3NS_72: I know, these computers take a few minutes!

Agonizingly slowly the media player boots up and I see the list of songs, I press the space bar and the first track starts to play. A haunting melody floats around my apartment.

L3NS_72: It is playing now, happy?

I_BiT3: Such a good girl for me

L3NS_72: How do you know I am a woman? I might be a 50-year-old man for all you know!

I_BiT3: Because I know you, Jenifer

My blood runs cold, how did she get my name?! The music keeps playing but my brain tunes it out as I wrack my brain searching for a time I gave my real name, I have been so careful. I have to ask.

L3NS_72: How do you know my name?

Silence greets me in return as the cursor blinks at me, mocking.

I_BiT3: You gave me your address.

I feel a blush of stupidity across my face as I realize with my address, they would easily find my real name, maybe I should have been more careful. Rationally I know I shouldn't be doing this, I know I should feel fear sharing my address with someone on the internet, someone who I have never met - will never meet. However, an intense stab of arousal deep in my core overwhelms all logical thought.

L3NS_72: What else do you know about me?

I_BiT3: I know you like women and…

There is a pause, and for a moment everything stands still while the cursor blinks at me where they were just typing.

I_BiT3: I know you like to watch.

My heart stops for a second, they can't possibly know that.

L3NS_72: What does that mean?