Page 133 of The Faceless Queen

“I’m sorry,” he gasped, kissing my neck before he buried his face in the crook. “I was looking for you.”

“I know.”

“And you were here—all this time. In this body?”

“No. Not the whole time. It wasn’t until-–”

“The tourney,” he said quietly. “The first night of the tourney.”

I nodded. “When you untied the ribbons. When we kissed.”

He shook his head and stepped back from me. “You called me Brennan that night. Olivay never had before.”

My face fell. “She hadn’t?”

“No. She hadn’t.” He pulled back from me and hugged himself, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. “Did I hurt you?” he asked again.

I squeezed my eyes shut, taking a deep breath. “No.”

He nodded. “After you saved me that night, after the chimera and the lake, you ran.”

“You know why I did. Why I had to.”

“I do. But what I don’t know is … Gods. Was any of it fucking real?” he asked, his voice trembling.

“Yes. Everything that could be between us was real. As real to me as anything ever was.”

“I was falling in love with you,” he said quietly.

“Which me?” My heart thundered.

“Both.”

“Brennan.” My heart split in two.

Just then, someone pounded on the door.

“Pardon, Your Highnesses,” shouted a guard. “Princess Olivay’s lady-in-waiting and the healer Symona are here to see her.”

“One moment,” he roared back, and rushed toward me, taking my hands in his, his green eyes wild with fear. “Change,” he commanded. “You must change. Before they see. Now! Be Olivay. Be Olivay again.”

“I-I can’t,” I said. “It’s not that easy to just shift.”

“You need to,” he hissed. “Now.”

I closed my eyes, but my nerves were jumping. I wasn’t used to being watched as I changed, and I’d already shifted so many times tonight.

“What do you need?” he asked. “This?” He brushed his lips against mine, freely offering me his energy, his lifeforce. And I sucked it down, connecting to his mind, just enough to see a clear image of Olivay in his head. I took one final taste of his lips, and pulled back, my chest heaving.

I squeezed my eyes shut, conjuring her image for myself, remembering the details I’d memorized when I first saw her, remembering the way I’d looked as I saw my reflection these last couple of weeks. And then I began to feel the changes take place, the tweaks and turns to my body, my eyes, my hair length, color, and texture. Even my height difference.

Brennan’s eyes widened even further, his mouth falling open as sweat beaded on my forehead, the transformation complete. I’d taken a huge hit to my reserves. All the magic and energy I’d collected from feeding tonight was gone. All of the lifeforce I’d just stolen from Brennan had been for nothing. Even maintaining Olivay’s form felt ridiculous. But what other choice did I have?

He swept Olivay’s black curls off my shoulder, and I shivered. I’d replaced my wet gown, and the rips and stains from the attack outside. His fingers brushed against the sensitive skin of my neck. “No cut.” He shook his head. “I have to go now,” he said. “There are things I need to take care of. And it must be done tonight.”

“Do you hate me now?” I asked.

“Should I?” He shook his head. “Gods. That you would even ask that of me?” He sucked in a breath. “I don’t–I don’t know how I feel. I don’t know what to do. I thought I did, I thought I knew right from wrong, thought that the answers were simple. But they’re not. I know that those men were telling the truth tonight, and yet they still deserve death. And I know that you can’t be here for any good reason. I know you’ve lied to me for weeks, and yet, I feel as though I’ve seen your heart. You’ve saved my life. Twice. Nothing makes sense right now. I just need to get out of here. Away. But you should know, I’m going to have guards stationed outside your window, as well as your door, all night long. No one can come in without my say. So you’ll be safe.”