Page 31 of The Session

“The facility doesn’t pay what I was making as a paramedic, but then again, I wasn’t really getting paid as much as other paramedics. Let’s just hope for your sake this is over soon or I’m going to need a really long installment plan to pay this off,” he told her.

“Don’t worry, I’m sure accounting will find a way to make that work. And between you and me”—Needleman lowered her voice—“I’m not recording as many hours as they would like me to.”

“I appreciate that,” Mark said.

“I will bring it up again and only because my senior partners have made it clear that I should point this out to you: You do have a very good case against your stepfather and the company. The easy way would be to file a suit against them.”

“No. Byron is doing what he needs to do to survive. And if I end up being the one that takes down the company, it’s not just going to affect him. It’s also my stepfamily and cousins. Some of them got kids. I don’t. I’ll make it through,” Mark told her.

“How’s Holly holding up?” Needleman asked.

“She’s been extremely supportive, and I appreciate that. It’s a lot to deal with. They upped the offer for her to go work at a biotech company in New Mexico. At first I wasn’t wild about it, but now I’m thinking it might be a good idea for her,” Mark admitted. “I told her she should take it.”

“Maybe you should go with her,” Needleman suggested. “You can always come back to do any depositions if you need to, but there’s no reason you have to stick around. It might be easier to get recertified there too.”

“I thought about that, but part of me wonders if the best thing for us right now is if I keep as much stress out of her life as possible.”

“My husband and I got accepted to law schools in different states. It worked out for the best,” Needleman told him.

“Yeah, I just gotta find the right way to have that conversation.”

Mark and Holly were sitting inside his pickup truck in the airport parking garage holding hands. Tears streamed down her face, and he was close to crying too.

“You should just come with me,” she said.

Mark knew she was being kind but didn’t fully mean it. He’d slowly come to the realization that he was a convenience for her. Something she was attached to—but not necessarily a permanent fixture. While Mark could imagine there was a timeline where they had kids and lived happily ever after, it would have been more due to their mutual agreeableness and not passion.

“That would be nice,” he said.

When he had broached the idea of her going while he stayed home, she rebuffed it initially, then began talking about theoretical travel situations.

This quickly escalated to her creating spreadsheets of flight tables and how they could make time for each other and maintain a long-distance relationship. Mark had no doubt that she wanted to continue the relationship, as did he. He also understood that at this point in her life, focusing on her career should be the priority. If the relationship survived, all the better, but that wasn’t the most important thing for her now.

Mark realized she wanted the best of both worlds, but the better world didn’t require him to be in it.

His legal entanglements and cloudy future would not help Holly succeed in New Mexico. The opposite, he feared. Most hours of the day, he felt guilty for being such a huge distraction.

“Holly . . .” Mark started to say.

She nodded. “I know.”

“It’s maybe . . .”

“Let’s just not say it? Okay? Not right now. I’m here for you. Well, there. But you get it. I get it.”

Mark felt his heart in a vise.

“I’m never going to meet anyone with as good a heart as you,” she said.

“I feel the same.”

“And let’s still talk. Let’s still see each other. I don’t think we need to make it a thing.”

“I’ll come see you in a few weeks if you want. By then you should know all the good restaurants. Until then, to be honest, I don’t really want to take my chance on some dive,” he joked.

“I would like that.” Holly managed to smile through her tears. “I think it’s going to be a lot of ordering in for now.” She squeezed his hand. “What are you going to do?”

“Maybe pick up an extra shift at Summer Breeze and see if Needleman can get me recertified. Otherwise, I’ve got a bunch of maladjusted kids to teach how to catch a ball.”