Page 55 of The Woman I’ve Become

I’ve done it before. Perhaps I can do it again.

Twenty Years Ago

23

Wendy

Norwalk, Connecticut

I wrap my arms around myself, hugging the borrowed shirt of betrayal nearer to my body as Julia storms out of the house.

Now she is really mad at me. She might never forgive me. It’s hard to swallow. I recognize what I’m feeling as regret and sadness. I’ve felt that so many times in my life but never like this. Julia was my friend.

Too late to be all sad now. I fucked up, but it was necessary. I turn back to the cheap room that still smells like sex. This was a stupid idea. Really, hella stupid. I should not have come.

But I thought I could protect her by making her see she wasn’t safe with him. He cannot be trusted. He is something evil that I innately recognize. Maybe from all the bastards who have come and gone in my life in foster home after foster home.

Shedding the shitty shirt, I grab my clothes. It’s the same black skintight dress I wore last night. I step into it and then slip on the chunky high heels I found deep in the closet at my foster house. I’m sure they belonged to the daughter whose room I use. The heels are so nineties. But they fit like they were meant for me.

Casey is drinking coffee when I wander into the kitchen. I didn’t hear him come back in.

“I thought you were taking Julia home.”

He watches me for a while, not saying anything. I hate coffee, but at the moment I need something to snap me out of this damn haze. I check the pot and it’s empty. He drank it all. What a douche. Then I look in his fridge, and there’s nothing but moldy cheese and a dying carton of milk. The guy obviously never eats at home.

I glance around. Decide on a glass of water from the tap.

Leaning back against the sink, I sip the water from the glass that may or may not be clean. It was in the sink, but it’s the only one I saw.

“Proud of yourself?” he asks.

I stare at him. “What the hell, man? You came to my house and demanded that I come with you.”

“And you came,” he jeers. “Several times.”

Fury roars through me. Bastard. He started this whole damned thing. “It’s not like I came by myself. You were only too happy to put your dick inside me.”

Flashes from the past couple of hours make me feel ready to puke. Shit.

I tell myself that if it makes her stay away from him, it was so worth it.

Except for me losing my only friend.

“Whatever.” He finishes off his coffee and sets the cup on the counter. “Get in gear. We have places to go. But first you have to take a shower.”

I make a face. “I’ll take a shower when I get home.”

He jerks his head toward the hall. “Take a shower, wash your hair, and brush your teeth. You can use my stuff if you don’t have anything with you. Do it right. I don’t want you walking out of here with any of my DNA on you.”

I snarl at him. What an asshole.

“I sure as hell don’t want any of your DNA clinging to me,” I mutter as I head to the only bathroom in the low-rent shithole.

I shower. Thankfully he has decent shampoo and bodywash. The stuff is very floral. Way too much so for a guy. Maybe Julia left it here, but she never mentioned it. I wash my slinky little thong too. Squeeze it over and over to get as much water out as possible.

Once I’m clean and dry, I slip the damp thong back on. It’s really thin, it’ll dry fast. Then my dress. I glance at the door. He hasn’t knocked to tell me to hurry, so I decide to blow-dry my hair. Under the sink I find new toothbrushes still in the pack. I snatch one and brush my teeth.

Finally, I toss the dryer aside and finger comb my hair. Then I’m done. I leave the towel on the floor. Let him clean it up. Bastard. I drop by the bedroom and grab my bag. It’s vintage leather, maybe from the ’80s, with fringe. I found it in my borrowed closet as well. Then I pick up the necklace. It feels like ice in my hand. I drop it in the bag.