Page 90 of The Love Operation

My intestines swirl around like they’ve just seceded from my body and their first task as free agents is to perform in the circus.

Benedict’s dad. Tomorrow.

I’ve already seen Benedict two out of three days this week. I don’t know if I can handle three out of four.

I cover the mouthpiece and whisper to Delenn, “Ever think the universe has it out for you?”

“All the time,” she whispers back.

I return to the call. “Kim, you’re a genius.” Because what else can I reasonably say?

“Just doing my job, boss.”

I hang up. “So, I might be operating on Benedict’s dad tomorrow.”

Delenn perks up. “What? Wow. Okay. So, back to Benedict. Spill.”

I slump in the chair, register my poor posture, and straighten again. “I saw his dad in clinic. Of course I freaked out. Then Benedict follows me out of the room, tells me he’s been thinking about me, regrets leaving, and wants to get to know me again.”

Her mouth drops open once more. “What did you say?”

“What could I say? I told him I was dating someone, and we’d have to keep it professional. Then he asked me how serious I was with Isaac.”

Her eyebrows hit the ceiling.

“I shut it down,” I say quickly. “And he apologized the next day, said he was out of line. But the whole thing threw me off.”

“No wonder you’re weird this morning. Are you . . . rethinking things with Isaac?”

“No!” The answer comes too fast. “Isaac and I really click, you know? I mean, the whole secret relationship thing isn’t ideal, but I really like him. And I’m really mad that Benedict showed up now, because it’s screwing with my head.”

I don’t like the look on her face. “Because you still have feelings for him.”

It’s not a question. I hate that it’s not a question.

I fiddle with the smooth cording on the edge of the chair arm. “I never stopped having them.”

She doesn’t look surprised.

“That’s sick, right?” I push. “Piney and stalkerish?”

She considers. “Have you followed him on social media? Driven by his house? Shown up at his work? Run down the street naked, professing your undying love?”

“Nobody does that last one.”

“Agree to disagree.” She leans forward. “You’re not a stalker. You can’t help how you feel.”

I plant my hands in my lap. “Well, I’m certainly not going down that road again.”

She leans back like she’s about to deliver a prophecy. “Wanna know what I think?”

“I don’t know.”

She snickers. “I think you should see him.”

I blink. “What?”

“I know you’re with Isaac. I know I encouraged that relationship. But there’s a part of you that’s been stuck. Not necessarily on Benedict, but on the way it ended. If you have the opportunity, you should talk to him. Let yourself have closure. Because I don’t think the way you think he left is actually how he left.”