Page 82 of The Love Operation

“Me specifically?” I ask, even though I shouldn’t.

Benedict meets my eyes. “You specifically.”

“He kept saying you were the best,” Wilton says. “Didn’t doubt it from what I knew before.”

A ripple moves through me, too quick to pin down.

“Don’t want anyone operating on me, but my legs feel like they’re on fire,” Wilton continues. “Except my big toes. Those are numb.” His breathing’s ragged. He’s struggling.

I turn to Elizabeth. “Did you do an exam?”

She gives me a confused look. “No. I told you, he was in too much pain, so I—”

“Right,” I cut in. “Let’s do it now.”

I can feel eyes on me, not Sharif’s but Benedict’s, so I shift into exam mode and let everything else recede.

I test Wilton’s strength, sensation, and reflexes. Then I ask him to lie back. I raise his left leg into the air.

Wilton yells out and grabs his leg.

“Positive straight leg raise,” I tell Elizabeth in instructor mode again. “What does that mean?”

“Disc herniation with nerve root compression,” she answers confidently.

I nod, pleased. “Good job.”

Teaching her grounds me. Examining my patient anchors me. Both are helping me not to lose my shit over Benedict and not to fail this clinic observation.

After the rest of the exam—and seeing how hard it is for Wilton to walk, nearly falling twice—I’m convinced he has a severe disc herniation. He would’ve gone down completely if Benedict hadn’t caught him.

I tell myself I feel nothing as I watch him care for his father. Nothing.

“I’ll have my nurse call down to radiology, see when they can fit you in for an MRI,” I say. “Any metal implants or pacemaker?”

“Nope,” Wilton huffs, sweating. This man is hurting.

I check his chart again, confirm the details, then suggest a Toradol shot for immediate relief. “I’ll send you home with a muscle relaxer and Percocet,” I say. “As soon as we get the MRI, I’ll have you come back to the office. We’ll go over the results and decide on a plan.”

“Just as long as you don’t tell me I need surgery, doc.”

“I make no promises.”

And then I get out. Elizabeth and Dr. Sharif follow.

“I want you to give him his shot,” I tell Elizabeth. “You need to learn to do everything yourself. Anna can supervise.”

She nods and follows Anna to the drug closet. For reasons I can only guess, Dr. Sharif trails them.

And I get a second to breathe.

I sit at the workstation, enter the MRI order, and leave a note for Anna to get it scheduled ASAP. Then I close my eyes, just for a second.

But I don’t get that second.

Because Benedict is standing beside me.

I feel the heat of his body before I even see him.