Page 60 of The Love Operation

Chapter 13

Risk Management

I roll my shoulders, channeling the same mindset I take into a particularly challenging case, and adjust the phone slightly against my cheek.

The thing is, I didn’t really think before I called Isaac. I just acted. Right now, I really want someone on my team who can understand where I’m coming from. Maybe I’m overreacting—but aren’t my feelings valid? Don’t they deserve to be acknowledged, especially when I’ve never really said them out loud before?

“Cord? You still there?”

“Let’s do it.”

“You’re serious? You . . . you’re agreeing to date me?”

“Yes. But no one can know. I need you to promise me that.”

“You were the one who blurted it out to your family. My lips are sealed. I told you I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardize this or either of our careers. We’re in the same boat. I meant that.”

“My siblings won’t say anything.” They hate me right now, but I trust them with this. “I just need you to know that if you do blab to anyone at the hospital, I’m not above revenge. One night, when you least expect it, I will steal away into your home, and I will put Tad Cooper on your face.”

“You’re serious?”

“I’m always serious, Isaac. And when it comes to the things I want, I am the most serious.”

“And you want me?”

I inhale. “I want you.”

“That’s good because I want you too.”

My stomach fizzes like sparkling water poured into a crystal glass.

We talk for a few more minutes, then I tell him I need to get to bed. We arrange to see each other for lunch tomorrow, then as soon as I end the call, Delenn texts.

Delenn: I’m sorry I said what I did about Benedict. He belongs in the past, and I should’ve kept him there.

My shoulders tighten. My skin feels foreign—like I put on someone else’s pajamas. Itchy. Impatient. Discontent in every cell. I also feel a little ridiculous, like a kid bouncing on their heels, waiting for their turn to speak. But I swallow it down.

Me: No worries. It’s not a big deal. Let’s just forget it.

Delenn: Agreed. Any chance you could meet me in the lab first thing in the morning? There’s no one here on the weekends.

Me: Yep. I’ll bring coffee and muffins.

Delenn:

I turn over and bury my face into my pillow and wonder how the decisions I’ve made tonight will play out.

Am I being too cocky? Too greedy? Should I have waited?

But sometimes, when you wait, opportunity moves on; it chooses someone bolder, someone willing to reach for it.

I want to be the one who possesses this opportunity. I want to grab hold and mold it to my will.

Acid bubbles up from my stomach, scalding my esophagus. I try not to look back after making a decision, but this is my weak spot. The past informs the present.

I have never been able to hold on to a relationship. They all leave, and most of the time, I’m blindsided. I think things are going well, only to find myself alone in a pile of hidden wreckage that gets dumped on me all at once.

What if this happens with Isaac too? Not only could I lose someone I’m rapidly growing to care for, but this could jeopardize my career. At a time when even my family’s support feels wobbly, I’m taking huge risks and hoping for—no, counting on—huge rewards. But the possibility of huge disaster pulses just around the corner. One wrong move, and it all could come crashing down.