Page 54 of The False Flat

“Peering over the edge . . .”

Flutters in my stomach.

“All the memories are tied up.”

Someone bumped into me, and I looked around. Caught myself on nothing, held up by the words, as if they were a cane.

“I’ll keep riding, riding, riding . . .”

The notes beat against my skin.

“And all I need is love.”

My eyes traveled to Grant. I couldn’t help it, not after the wine had dulled my perfect pretense. And he was looking right back. We stood still, our gaze steady over the vibration of the crowd.

“Can you give me some?”

The rays of the setting sun reached between us, burning the moment into history.

“It’s there in your eyes.”

Eyes sparkled, spoke in time with the music, focus unbroken.

“I’ll pull down my disguise.”

Something more than friends.

“But will you stay or disappear?”

Music slowed. Life suspended.

“I was alone, but somehow you’ve stayed right by my side . . .”

And then, Grant was moving toward me. This was it.

Things were about to change.

CHAPTER 21

LIFE REALIZATION #10: NEVER EAT THE MARSHMALLOWS

Change they did.

The sun shifted. The light moved away. A skinny, shirtless guy ran between us and knocked three-fourths of his beer into my face, reality spitting in my eyes. William bounced back and forth on his feet before pulling off his shirt and handing it to me. Chuck moved to confront the half-naked punk who’d showered me.

The crowd swallowed Grant. The last note of the song faded in the heat of June’s setting sun, and I wondered if I’d imagined it all. The lyrics, the music, the man, likely all some buzzed daydream.

I wiped my eyes with William’s shirt and nodded when asked if I was all right. I wasn’t all right, but it had nothing to do with spilled brew and everything to do with the beautiful woman tucking her arm into Grant’s as she smiled up at him and said something that was surely charming. His eyes sparkled when he looked down at her and laughed.

They were perfect.

I pushed my way through the crowd, through a plume of smoke I recognized as marijuana, until I made it to the on-site RV that Deanna had rented for us before she’d abandoned me.

Halo and a slender woman with purple hair were grinding against each other beside the door. They didn’t even acknowledge my presence as I passed, tears blurring my vision. I lay on the couch-thing, closing my eyes so tightly I saw stars.

Then I pulled my mermaid quilt to my face and let the gnawing ache around my heart rock me to sleep.

The next day, I shoved my bag into the back of the van and looked up at the three single clouds in the sky, letting the early-afternoon sun fall on my face.