Page 140 of Velveteen vs. The Consequences of Her Actions

“I never served on a junior team,” said Dotty.

“Because if you had, you would still be doing so,” said Victory Anna.

Velveteen exchanged a glance with Action Dude, almost resenting how natural it was to check with him, how easily she fell back into the pattern of treating him as her natural leader. Shame followed the resentment, hot and sticky. He hadn’t done anything wrong. And she wasn’t doing anything wrong by sitting and talking to him, even if Tag was going to be unhappy when he got home from his art mentoring and found out her ex had been visiting unexpectedly.

“Dotty looks like she’s about twelve, but she’s been active for decades,” she said. “She’s a magical hero, like the Princess or Hailey, and the rules are different for her.”

“One day I’ll find my Ozma, and then I’ll go back to the land beyond the rainbow, which is legally distinct from any published work of children’s fiction,” said Dotty serenely. “Until that day, I’ll neither age nor die. And all of that is beside the point. I’d wager I’m the oldest person in this room by quite a bit, if age is that important to you.”

Victory Anna blinked before passing judgment: “This is very odd.”

“Most things involving superhumans are, darling,” said Polychrome.

“I don’t like it.”

“You don’t have to,” said Velveteen, taking control of the conversation. She focused her attention on Action Dude. “All right, Aaron: the Princess spoke to the congressional committee that was trying to regulate animus heroes. Why is it an issue if Tad and I live together?”

“She spoke to them. That slowed them down, but it didn’t stop them.” He shook his head. “It’s never that easy where the federal government is concerned. Some very powerful people, with a lot of money, have a strong interest in getting the first superhuman controls in place. If they can lock you down while you’re a demographic of two, how long before they start coming for the rest of us?”

“Fucked up times five million,” groaned Velveteen. “We’re still talking about this bullshit? How do we make it go away?”

“We kinda don’t,” said Polychrome. “I remember when I was more involved with the legal side of things. Once someone has decided they want to push a law, they don’t tend to drop it without really good reasons. It’s why we keep seeing bills crop up for things that we’ve long since decided would be a terrible idea.”

“We could find the person who’s pushing such an aberrant misuse of the parliamentary system, and kill them,” suggested Victory Anna.

For one dizzy moment, Velveteen thought she was referring to The Parliamentarian, and had to swallow a cascade of laughter at the idea of owls taking over the government. “Murder isn’t usually how we resolve legal challenges,” she said. “How about I talk to the Princess, and see if we can’t get the corporation she works with to throw their weight behind protecting superhuman rights, instead?”

“Much less efficient,” said Victory Anna. “Slower, too. I think my idea has some merit behind it, and should be considered.”

“And when she gets caught and they use it to prove that all animus heroes are a danger to the public?” asked the American Dream.

Victory Anna sat back, a sulky expression on her face.

Velveteen sighed, exhaustion washing visibly over her. “I don’t know what to do.”

“I do,” said the American Dream. “But I’m going to need you to trust me.”

The front door slammed open as Tag rushed inside, not batting an eye at the strange assortment of figures already assembled there. Instead, his attention snapped straight to Velveteen, eyes raking over her like he was afraid she might disappear. “Vel, there’s like half a dozen black helicopters circling the house,” he gasped. “I think we need to get outta here.”

“I’m gonna need you to trust me now,” said the American Dream. They took Dotty Gale’s hand in their left, extending their right toward Velveteen. “Everyone who’s coming, link up. We don’t have a lot of time to sit here arguing about best practices.”

“I suppose we’re not traveling by tornado this time,” said Dotty Gale, sounding resigned.

“C’mon, Dot,” said Action Dude.

She sighed before leaning over and taking Action Dude’s hand in her free one. One by one, the others joined up, until they made a rough, uneasy circle. “Close your eyes now,” she instructed, before clicking her heels together, three times.

When the men in black broke down the front door five minutes later, it was to find the living room entirely deserted, steaming cups of tea sitting on seemingly every flat surface. The doors were still locked, the vehicles still secure in their places. The occupants were just…gone.

* * *

Traveling by silver slipper had some things in common with traveling by magic mirror, but not everything. It was a lot bumpier, for one, and when they were dumped out of the magical vortex on the other end, they were all wearing their own clothing, not suddenly transformed into children’s book versions of their usual selves.

Velveteen was the first to stagger to her feet, rounding on Action Dude with an absolutely furious expression on her face. To her surprise—and his—the American Dream stepped between them, hands already raised defensively.

“It’s not his fault,” they said. “He didn’t summon the government. It was just bad timing—or good timing, I guess. It all depends on how you look at it, and how much you wanted to be disappeared into a classified detainment site.”

“You really want to tell me you three ‘just happened’ to show up right before the United States government decided to drop in for a visit?”