Page 36 of The Unkindest Tide

“I thought you didn’t want to be a monster,” I said.

“Mom,” said Dean.

“It’s not that I want to be a monster, it’s that being a monster means I don’t have to deal with people acting like I hung the moons,” said the Luidaeg. “Who has time for that shit? My parents wanted to be gods. I just wanted not to get slaughtered by my siblings.”

“Mom, please,” said Dean.

Dianda turned to him, scowling. “What is so important that it can’t wait for me to be done talking to the sea witch?”

Dean glanced around, clearly looking for someone to support him. Quentin grimaced and held up his hands: there was no help coming from that quarter. My squire has many excellent qualities, and one of them is knowing when not to get between the temperamental mermaid and her son, even if that son is his current boyfriend. Marcia just looked baffled. The politics of Firstborn and the Undersea were not a part of her daily routine.

“Mom . . .” Dean paused, taking a deep breath, and said, “Amphitrite is here.”

Dianda went still.

“What?” asked Patrick.

“The Merrow Firstborn. Amphitrite. She’s here. On the Duchy of Ships. I think she sort of technically is the Duchy of Ships. She’s the captain. All the ships that sail here sail for her. It’s hers.”

“That’s not possible,” said Dianda. “Duchess . . . I can’t remember her name, but a duchess holds the Duchy of Ships, in the name of Queen Palatyne. Captain Pete sails under her colors, and he’s not the Merrow Firstborn. He can’t be.”

“Have you ever met Captain Pete?” asked the Luidaeg. Her voice was surprisingly kind.

“Once,” said Dianda. She frowned, looking suddenly lost. “There was a storm. Not long after the big earthquake. The Duchy of Ships is anchored in a slice of sea that’s almost a skerry, so it’s in everyone’s waters and no one’s waters at the same time. They managed to dodge the worst of the aftershocks, and they couriered medical supplies and food to the coastal domains. I was still new at being Duchess, but I remember . . . I met him. I know I did. I just can’t remember his face.” She paused, frown becoming a sharp-edged smile. “I remember his nose, though. It crunched so nicely when I punched it.”

“Yeah, so apparently that’s one of the two common reactions Merrow have upon meeting their Firstborn. Either they pass out, which Dean did, or they attack,” I said. “Sounds like you attacked.”

Dianda shook her head. “No. I’d remember punching my own Firstborn. Or, more likely, I wouldn’t, since I’d be dead.”

“Pete doesn’t mind when her descendants assault her, as long as they calm down after the shock passes,” said the Luidaeg. “She says it’s something in the blood, and she can’t hold it against you, when she’s the one who went and made you this way. She doesn’t leave the Duchy often. You should feel honored, even if she did feel the need to fog your memory after the fact, to keep her secrets safe. You may not even remember she’s here after you go home, although I suppose that’s up to her. She might decide you’re trustworthy.”

I wouldn’t, said her tone.

Dianda shook her head again, harder this time. “No. I’d remember.”

“Sorry, Mom, but yeah,” said Dean.

She looked at him, stricken, and said nothing. Patrick gave Poppy’s hands one final squeeze and let them go before moving to stand next to his wife.

“Well, this is fun.” The Luidaeg clapped her hands. “Can we possibly make this any more awkward, do you think, or should we all stand around staring at each other for a while? Really, the possibilities for discomfort are endless, if we all work together.”

“It’s nice that you can still be sarcastic,” I said. “I think if you couldn’t lie or be sarcastic, you might literally explode.”

“Titania’s cruel, but my father wouldn’t let her go that far,” said the Luidaeg.

Privately, I thought Oberon had allowed his wife to go more than far enough. I wasn’t going to say so. There were some family affairs that were well past my pay grade, and this was one of them.

“Where are Nolan and Cassandra?” I asked.

“Shopping,” said Quentin. “He wanted to see if some pie dealer he likes still had a stall here, and Cassie’s trying to keep him from getting kidnapped or thrown overboard or something stupid like that. Which means he’s looking for information about his old nursemaid, and she’s trying to stay out of the way. Her job is mostly babysitting.”

“Then you should have plenty to talk about, since you seem to think your job is similar,” I said.

He wrinkled his nose.

Dianda had taken the pause as an opportunity to recover her composure. She gestured toward a nearby seat. “Do you mind?” she asked. “Keeping myself on two legs for long periods of time is wearying, and I’d like to be able to walk when I need to.”

“Of course,” said the Luidaeg. “I’m not here to torment my sister’s children. Just my own.”