Page 45 of City of Stone and Silence

“Right.” I want to vomit, but there’s no time. “Stay close,” I tell the boys. “We’ll get you to Grandma’s.”

“You saved my life,” Garo mutters, as we start to run. “Again.”

“Yeah.” I’m doing what I can with what I have. I swallow bile. “I know.”

10

ISOKA

I can’t tell if Meroe is going to hit me or start crying. Possibly both at once. I hold up my hands and get ready to duck.

“I thought,” I say, “we agreed on this plan.”

Her eyes narrow, and the scales tip rapidly toward “hit me.”

“We agreed it was the right thing for us to do,” she says. “Not for you to run off and get into trouble by yourself.”

“I’m not going to be by myself. I’m taking all our best fighters. Zarun, Thora, Jack, Aifin—”

“You know what I mean.”

What she means is, not her. I’d made the mistake of thinking that went without saying.

“How many times have I saved your life, Deepwalker?” she says. We’re in one of the smaller upper chambers of the ziggurat, which I’ve started thinking of as our bedroom. As yet, the only furnishing is a scratchy blanket made from the cloth Catoria’s people brought us, which Meroe kicks aside as she stalks toward me.

“Too many to count,” I say. “And obviously I’m grateful—”

“I don’t need your rotting gratitude!” Meroe takes a deep breath, and suddenly she’s blinking back tears again. “You don’t understand.”

“Obviously not.”

Meroe swallows. “What happens when you get hurt, and I’m not there?”

“I—” I shake my head. “I’ll be fine.”

“Right. Just like when you fell into the Deeps, or when you fought the Butcher, or—”

“Someone needs to stay here and keep things running,” I interrupt. “You’re the one who’s been holding this mess together ever since we marched to the Garden.”

“And you’d like me to stay in a nice, safe padded room, is that it?” Meroe says.

“If anything goes wrong—not that I think that will happen—there’s everyone who stays here to think of,” I say. She stops, and I try a lopsided smile. “You’re the one who told me that we can’t just leave people behind.”

Meroe’s mouth works silently for a moment. “That’s not fair,” she mutters.

“Sorry.”

For a moment we stand, facing each other. Meroe’s breathing hard. Even in moments like this, she’s so beautiful I can barely stand it.

“Don’t—” She swallows again. “Don’t think that you’re keeping me safe.”

“I—”

“If something happens…” She hesitates, then shakes her head. “If you don’t come back, I’ll have no choice but to accept Catoria’s offer. I’ll get everyone delivered to her protection. Then I’m coming after you, if I have to do it all by myself. Understand?”

“I … I don’t think—”

“Don’t rotting argue with me, Gelmei Isoka.” She steps forward and kisses me, furiously, her breath hot against my skin. “Just … don’t.”