Page 25 of Bonds and Beasts

The bewildered disappointment that crosses her face makes me want to fight off the touch deprivation myself, but I know better.

Dean and Bello left to go fetch the things she asked for from her room—her prison cell—in the west wing. She doesn't want to go back there, and I don't blame her.

I stand up and carefully cross the room to her. She doesn't notice as she stares at her quaking hands. My fingers find the little point of her chin and lift. Big, green, tear-rimmed eyes find mine and my heart breaks a little.

"Don't worry, Sweetheart. This is normal. You can't cure severe touch deprivation in one go like that. It's going to take a lot of work over a long period, but we're not going anywhere."

"It hurts," she gasps out before releasing a soft omega whine.

I thread my fingers through the hair at the back of her skull and gently pull her forward, allowing her to bury her face in my chest, and nearly lose my mind when she scent-marks there. I haven't put on a shirt yet in preparation for exactly this. I know from my volunteer experience that she's going to need a lot of consistent touch.

I let my purr roll up and I can practically feel the tension melt out of her muscles where I've set my other hand across her back to hold her steady. I move it up and down her spine, a warm rush of pride shooting through me when she exhales and snuggles in further.

Her muffled voice drifts to me from my chest. "I'm sorry."

I still for a moment before she whines and I resume my ministrations. My fingers move in slow circles through her hair. "What in the world could you be apologizing for, Adison?"

"For needing so much. I'm just... a lot right now."

My brow furrows and I struggle to ask my next question without sounding condemning."I don't understand. I know you lost your parents, but that happened in your late teen years, right? Didn't they teach you about this? About omega needs? In case you designated as one?"

The tension returns to her shoulders despite my gentle tone. I kick myself. Tact has never been a strong suit of mine.

"I'm sorry, I didn't—"

"No, it's okay," she cuts in. "My parents were both alphas, and it probably never occurred to them that they might have an omega. I don't think it was malicious, but they likely believed they didn’t need to teach me anything about it. Then when I designated, it was such a catastrophe that the fact that I knew nothing about omegas didn't even make the top ten list of my biggest concerns. I never…"

She trails off and I can fill in the blanks. I hold her tighter. My mate, not only scared and confused because of her overactive scent issue, but because of parents who couldn't fathom their daughter being her own person.

I know being mad at the dead is pointless, but I wish they were here so I could give them a stern lecture about genetics and hormones and scents.

"Easton?" Adison says softly. I look down to find her watching me with concern and I realize my scent has gone bitter with these thoughts of her parents. I don't want her to mistake the change as something to do with her, so I take a deep breath, let my scent mellow out, and mark along her cheek with my nose. She sighs.

I bend, hooking my hand under her knees and lifting her until she's straddling my waist. She squeaks in surprise, holding onto my neck and staring at me. "Figured you could get more touch if I carried you like this for a while."

Her shoulders ease away from her ears. She shifts a little in my grip, accidentally rubbing against me through her underwear. My boxers are the only barrier between us. I moan and hike her a bit higher. She doesn't need that right now.

Her small smirk tells me she knows exactly what she was doing. Cheeky omega. Her head comes to rest on my shoulder, arms around me. Her rose scent fills every inch of air around me and I wish I could hold her like this forever. Walking's overrated anyway.

When Bello and Dean return, dressed and holding armfuls of her clothes, they stop in the doorway when they see us. I furrow my brow but Bello mouths, asleep. Touch deprivation takes a lot out of an omega and Adison has had a year of it. I rub along her spine with the palm of my hand. For a moment, none of us know what to do. Then Dean—impulsive, brash, rough Dean—steps forward and curls himself around her from behind, resting his chin on her shoulder and scent-marking her cheek. Her breathing changes and she lifts her head a little.

"Oh, I'm sorry I dozed off," she says, her words coming easier now.

"It's okay, Sweet Girl, we have you," Dean assures her.

"We also brought your clothes," Bello says, gesturing to the pile they laid out on the bed when they saw her in my arms. She smiles and I gently set her down on her feet when she wiggles. She takes the top bits of clothing and goes into the adjoining bathroom.

"What happened?" Dean asks—clearly he thought the worst was past, as Adison had. I explain that touch deprivation isn't so simple to remedy. Her nervous system will need consistent, grounding touch for days or weeks before it starts to trust again and regulate itself.

Dean looks a little disheartened before Bello claps him on the back. "I'd rather have my mate healthy, but I'm not going to complain about getting to touch her."

Water starts running in the bathroom and I can't help but agree.

Adison

When I get out of the shower, I swipe the fog off the oversized gold-rimmed mirror and freeze. The person looking back at me is a near-stranger. I'd given up looking in mirrors a few months after my parents died. It was obvious I was getting ill, though I didn't understand why. I didn't like what I saw, so I had Mr. Clocks take the mirrors out of the west wing.

Now, I don't know if it's better to see all the changes at once or gradually over time. I'm thin. Thinner than I've been since puberty. My wrists look frail, and my once luscious red hair is still curly, but limp and lifeless. My undereyes are sunken, like I've gotten two black eyes. I take a deep breath. Nothing to do now but hope it can be fixed with the touch routine the doctors sent home, the heat spikes, and my alphas surrounding me.