Page 72 of Bonds of Shame, Bonds of Lust

"I know."

"Not the dress. The whole thing." She wasn't smiling now. "You can't keep it to yourself anymore."

"Yeah."

"I'm right."

"I know you're right."

"I'm just saying. When we get back."

"When we get back. Okay."

She turned back to her champagne.

I looked out the window. Florida was somewhere under the cloud layer. I let Janice's sentence sit for the length of one cloud and the next. It didn't move.

When we get back.

I had a list of things I'd been putting off. The list was long. I nodded. Yes, I thought, I am going to finally tell my dad what I have been holding all these years. The ice had melted in the glass.

Janice took a sip of her champagne and glanced at me sideways.

"So," she said. "Have you seen Ricardo this week?"

There'd been no preamble.

"This week?"

"This week. Since the club."

"Um." I picked up the vodka tonic. I drank from it. It didn't buy much. "I saw him."

Janice was looking at me now with the expression she usually reserved for patients who were lying about their symptoms. "Lacey."

"Janice." I looked at her.

"How many times?"

"A couple."

"A couple?"

"Yes."

"In what context?"

I shrugged and drank the rest of the vodka tonic.

Janice tilted her head. "You know, when someone says, 'a couple times' the way you just did, it usually means they're trying to decide how much of the truth they can get away with telling me."

I looked at her. "That's a very specific diagnostic criterion."

"It is," she said. "I've been refining it for years. Works on both patients and best friends."

"Janice."

"I'm just saying. If you tell me you saw him twice and it turns out you saw him four times, I'm going to be offended that you thought I couldn't do basic math."