Page 37 of An Outlaw’s Desire

“Most women want children. I did. Very much. Yet, there was no sense longing for what could never be.”

“Did you and your husband not…visit a healer?”

“We did. None of the cures he tried helped.”

“Ah. He had the difficulty.”

A flush heated her face, for even years later, the impact of her spouse’s impotence haunted her. “I promised to keep his secret, and I did. ’Twas difficult at times, though, to see the pitying looks from other noblemen and their wives. They believed the fault was mine; that I was barren.”

Pitt’s fingertips trailed down the edge of her bodice, where the fabric met her skin. Even now, he touched her as though she were precious to him.

“Did your husband never suggest….”

“Suggest?”

“Having another man—mayhap one of his loyal knights—get you with child?”

“Never. Thank God.” The thought of coupling with a man she didn’t love and barely knew caused her face to burn hotter.

“I did not mean to cause offense.” Pitt’s hand lingered just above her cleavage. “’Twould not have been the first instance of such happenstance, though.”

“True.” A shudder trailed through her. “I would never have agreed to such an arrangement.”

“You might not have had a choice. If your spouse had insisted on an heir—”

“Thankfully, he did not. He and I might not have lain together like most husbands and wives, but he cared for me. He treated me with kindness and respect and sought my opinions on all kinds of matters. He knew I loved books, and he encouraged me to read and learn.”

A slow grin curved Pitt’s mouth. “Very wise of him, to have indulged your hunger for knowledge.”

“When I had finished reading the few books he owned, he bought me several more as gifts. I still have them. I will never part with them.”

Pitt growled low in his throat before he lifted his hand from her. His features hardened, as though he struggled to control a battle within himself. “I must know,” he rasped.

The smoldering heat of his stare bored into her. He’d looked at her that way years ago, when the passion between them had flared with unquenchable fire. “Aye?”

“Did your husband ever…pleasure you?”

She drew in a sharp breath. How bold of him. But, once, they’d shared every hope, dream, and forbidden desire. If she wanted to glean his secrets, she would have to give him hers.

He usurped the remaining space between them. His thighs brushed hers, while his snow-and-earth scent roused a keen ache low in her belly.

“You said he was impotent, but did he ever—?”

“Pitt—”

“I have to know. I have to.”

Tears stung her eyes.

“I know, I have no right.” He groaned. “But, you can’t imagine what ’tis like, standing so close to you, realizing that you may never have….”

Part of her hotly refused to answer. Yet, another part of her wanted to weep.

“Tell me,” Pitt whispered. Leaning in, he nuzzled her hair.

How she wished her hands were free, so she could slide her arms around him.

“Tell me,” he whispered again, kissing her cheek.